The Lords of the Caffeine
by Caroline Jordan
Summary: CHAPTER 14 NOW UP--IS THIS GOOD-BYE? Some junior high aged kids and the Fellowship are thrown into a house due to the plotting of Lord Elrond and one of the kids.
1. Moving In

The Lords of the Caffine  
  
By Caroline Jordan  
  
Summary: You throw the whole Fellowship and some junior high kids in a house...what sort of insanity will occur?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR. If I did, why would I be writing here? These kids are once again, me and my friends.  
  
Chapter 1- Moving In  
  
Frodo threw his suitcase into the door and sighed heavily. He had walked all the way from his house to this one with his suitcase. It probably only weighed about five pounds, but every step seemed to add another...and another...and another.  
  
"Hello?!" he called. "Is anyone here?"  
  
"Mister Frodo!" a familiar voice called.  
  
Sam rushed downstairs. "It's about time you got here. We were worried."  
  
"Why exactly are we here Sam?" Frodo asked.  
  
"I'm not sure," he said, "but I got this letter from Lord Elrond, see?"  
  
Frodo pulled out a piece of paper. "I got one too."  
  
Sam shrugged. "Here. Let's take this upstairs."  
  
The Fellowship was dragging more luggage inside when the door suddenly swung open. A short, red-haired boy with glasses stood there. He looked inside, did a double-take and shouted, "Holy monkies!"  
  
A much taller boy with blonde hair came up behind him. "C'mon Ben! You're blocking the door! Geez! I just met you and already you're in the way."  
  
"Peter," Ben said. "Do you see what I see?"  
  
"No! Because you're blocking my way!" Peter yelled. "You may be short, but I'm standing two steps lower than you!"  
  
Ben walked inside, cautiously, and Peter stepped in. Peter's luggage fell from his hands and he and Ben said at the same time, "Holy monkies!"  
  
"Peter! Ben! Out of the way!" a girl shouted.  
  
"Lisa! Get in here!" Ben called.  
  
"I. CAN'T!!!" Lisa screamed.  
  
Peter grabbed her by the arm and threw her inside. Lisa gasped and dropped a box she was holding. A sickening shattering noise came from inside.  
  
"Ara...Arag...ARAGORN!!!!!!!" she screamed on the top of her lungs.  
  
She ran over and leapt into Aragorn's arms. Quite frightened, Aragorn looked over at Legolas who was trying not to laugh.  
  
"I see Aragorn's made a friend," Boromir grinned.  
  
Three other girls and two more boys came in. The whole house started talking at once; Peter and Ben saying "Holy monkies!" over and over, Dan (Dajotre) and Rachel (Tippy) arguing over nothing, Aragorn trying to get Lisa off of him, Brittney and Ashley fighting over Frodo, and Bryan asking where Arwen was.  
  
Suddenly, a louder voice came above the rest. "QUIET!!!"  
  
All froze and looked up at the staircase. Standing there was a girl, slightly shorter than Peter, with blonde hair.  
  
"Tracy? Where'd you come from?" Brittney asked.  
  
"I was the one that brought you all here," Tracy said.  
  
"You were?" Bryan asked.  
  
"Actually it was a plot between me and Lord Elrond in order to ruin your lives," she explained. "Elrond didn't want to stay here, but I did! Oh, and by the way. Two more shall be joining us."  
  
"Who?" Dajotre asked.  
  
"By request of Bryan: Eowyn and Arwen," Tracy replied.  
  
"YES!!!" Bryan rejoiced.  
  
"This is going to be war," Tippy muttered.  
  
"Not if it's organized, Tippy," Tracy said, walking downstairs.  
  
"Tracy and organized don't go together," Peter answered.  
  
"Yeah, you should see her binder," Ben agreed.  
  
"There is not enough for everyone to have their own room-," Tracy began.  
  
Everyone started complaining, curses coming from Bryan followed by Ben shouting, "Say 'Darn it!'"  
  
"Calm yourselves!" Tracy sighed. "Anyway, I've come up with a plan. There is enough for four people in a room. I thought that, for the sake of the Fellowship, we'll keep the Fellowship and kids in separate rooms. Room 1 will be Ben, Bryan, Dajotre and Peter. 2 is me, Brittney, Ashley and Tippy. I thought I should keep all Aragorn lovers in one room, so Room 3 is Eowyn, Lisa and Arwen."  
  
"Wait...," Lisa said. (She was still hugging Aragorn.) "You're putting me with Arwen?!"  
  
"Now, Lisa," Tracy scolded. "You're going to have to learn to get along with Liv- I mean- Arwen."  
  
Lisa groaned and Tracy continued, "Room 4 is Legolas, Aragorn, Pippin and Merry. Room 5 is Frodo, Sam-."  
  
"Ugh! Slashy!" Brittney yelled.  
  
"Brittney! Shut up!" Tracy shouted.  
  
The Fellowship looked at each other, confused.  
  
"Frodo, Sam, Boromir, Gandalf and Gimli is short enough to sleep UNDER the bed," Tracy finished.  
  
Gimli muttered and cursed under his breath in Dwarvish.  
  
"So we're stuck together for two months?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Oh don't worry Legolas, dear," Tracy grinned. "We'll all have fun! You'll see!"  
  
She carried her suitcase upstairs and Legolas turned to Aragorn who was still trying to pry Lisa off of him.  
  
"Did she just call me "dear?"" he asked.  
  
"Don't tell me about YOUR problems!" Aragorn yelled. "Look what I have to put up with!"  
  
"Lady Arwen won't be too happy to hear about this," Merry grinned.  
  
"Uh...guys," Frodo said. "A little help?"  
  
They all turned to see Ashley and Brittney screaming at each other. They were each holding one of Frodo's arms, and Frodo looked quite hilarious with his helpless and confused expression.  
  
"He's mine!!!" Ashley screamed.  
  
"No he's not!" Brittney yelled. "I saw him first!"  
  
"So what?! I love him more!"  
  
"No you don't! I have thirty five pictures of him!"  
  
"So?! I DRAW pictures of him!"  
  
"My last name begins with the same letter of HIS last name!"  
  
~Silence~  
  
"What's that got to do with anything?!"  
  
"Let him go!" Sam shouted, pulling him away.  
  
Brittney started laughing. The Fellowship looked at each other, very confused.   
  
"That was slashy!" Brittney said through hystarical laughter. "I LOVE it!"  
  
Tracy stormed downstairs and shook Brittney by the shoulders. "I did NOT bring you here to have you destroy things on the first day! There will be NO mention of slash while I'M in the house!"  
  
"What about when you're not in the house?" Brittney asked.  
  
"NO!!!" Tracy yelled.  
  
She turned to see Peter and Ben still standing in front of the door, frozen. Tracy strode over and tapped Peter on the shoulder. No responce. She waved her hand in front of Ben's face.  
  
"Are you guys awake?" Tracy asked.  
  
"Holy monkies," Ben whispered.  
  
Peter fell forward and Tracy tried to hold him up. "Ehm, Dajotre? Can you give me a hand?"  
  
Dajotre started applauding unenthusiastically. Tracy glared at him and dragged Peter off. Pippin came over to Ben and looked at him.  
  
"I think he's dead, Merry," Pippin said.  
  
"You can't be dead standing up," Merry told him, coming over.  
  
Pippin tapped him on the shoulder and Ben fell backwards.  
  
"NOW I think he's dead," Merry nodded.  
  
Gandalf knelt next to Ben and shook him a little. Dajotre sighed and came over. He yanked Ben to his feet and screamed on the top of his lungs, "WAKE UP!!!"  
  
Ben snapped awake and looked at Dajotre. "Dan! I had this crazy dream!"  
  
"Ben, it's not a dream," Dajotre replied.  
  
"Oh," Ben said.  
  
...........  
  
"COOL!!!!!!!!" Ben screamed.  
  
He ran over and pointed to each person. "You're Frodo being fought over by deranged fangirls!"  
  
  
  
Frodo continued to look helpless.  
  
"You're Sam: the stupid fat hobbit!"  
  
Sam glared at him.  
  
"You're Merry and Pippin! The drunk hobbit peoples!"  
  
Merry and Pippin nodded proudly.  
  
"You're Legolas! Tracy is TOTALLY in love with you and Pippin! And she's in the denial stage of loving Elrond! That's what a quiz she took said!"  
  
Legolas arched an eyebrow in confusion while grinning a little at the denial stage remark.  
  
"You're Gimli! NObody likes YOU!!!"  
  
Gimli grumbled and glared at Ben.  
  
"You're Gandalf! The freaky old wizard freak that sleeps with his eyes open!"  
  
Gandalf chuckled a little at Ben's ecstatic behavior.  
  
"You're Aragorn! As you can see, Lisa is totally OBSESSED with you!!!"  
  
Aragorn nodded sarcastically and tried to pull himself out of Lisa's iron grip hold.  
  
"You're Boromir! You should be dead right now!!!"  
  
"Hey! You're right!" Boromir said.  
  
Ben spun around in circles. "And here we are in the room, in the house, in the city, in the county, in the state, in the country, in the continent, in the hemisphere, in the world, in the solar system, in the galaxy, in the universe and BEYOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Ben then collapsed and was unconscious again. Ashley and Brittney looked at each other.  
  
"Let's go take this outside where it's less insane," Brittney said.  
  
  
  
"I agree," Ashley nodded.  
  
They walked out the door, leaving Frodo behind. The others exchanged scared looks.  
  
"Uhhh...let's go," Sam said.  
  
They all walked out the door leaving Ben unconscious and Lisa with Aragorn.  
  
"Hey!" Aragorn yelled. "HEY!!! A LITTLE HELP!!!!!!!"  
  
(I love it! Hey! If you could tell me who your favorite character is out of the kids, that would be great! My friends are anxious to know who has the most votes. Tippy hasn't been given much of a part, but she is incredibly insane. I'll try to show you that later.) 


	2. Dinner

Chapter 2- Dinner  
  
crystal-rose15: You are a Ben fan! He'll be happy to hear that. Everyone in this story is a real person I know. So thank you for reading and reviewing!  
  
DoomGirl: *stares at Legolas shirt she got for Christmas (Thanks Ashley!)* What?! Legolas?! lol Thank you very much! I have a FAN!!! *dances*  
  
Sailor Earth Selestina118: Ben and Lisa, eh? The insane one and the Aragorn fangirl. Many thanks, Sailor Scout...if that's what you're referring to. My sister is an avid Sailor Moon fan.  
  
Rachel13: I LOVE LEGOLAS AND PIPPIN!!! And I am quite happy! lol Everyone I know is insane in their own way.  
  
The Forgotten Maia: Oh, I'll have evil in store. Let's just say..."male bashing" as Tippy would put it. Sorry to any guy out there.  
  
kcauz: Thank you!!! I'm glad to see that someone loves it that much!!! Score one for Brittney and another for Ben. Brittney will be overjoyed.  
  
Galadriel-in-disguise: This will get ugly! lol I hearby dub you Ben's #1 Fan. :-D  
  
Tangerine Dash: Get ready for male bashing, Tippy. lol  
  
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Favorite Votes:  
  
Ashley- 0  
  
Ben- 4 (Leader)  
  
Brittney- 1  
  
Bryan- 0  
  
Dajotre- 0  
  
Lisa- 1  
  
Peter- 0  
  
Tippy- 1 (I'm counting you, TangerineDash.)  
  
Tracy- 1 (Yes!)  
  
VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE KID WHEN YOU REVIEW!!!  
  
That evening, everyone soon found out that everybody had very little cooking skills. But Brittney, who was the better cook out of the kids, made their favorite dish: pizza! The Fellowship, needless to say, had never seen it before in their lives.  
  
"It's food," Ben said. "It's called pizza. Everyone loves it! Try it!"  
  
Pippin had already eaten half of his serving when Ben said this. "Good stuff!"  
  
"See?" Ben grinned. "Pippin likes it!"  
  
"Pippin will eat anything," Frodo replied.  
  
"Why do you like this?" Gimli asked.  
  
Peter paused and looked up at them. "Uhhh....cuz it's good!" He folded his arms superiorly. "I have spoken."  
  
"MAZELTOV!!!" the other kids shouted.  
  
The Fellowship of the Rings members looked at each other again, then decided to at least try it. Tippy noticed that Aragorn was cutting up his pizza. Or at least trying to. Lisa had him by one arm, and Aragorn could only use his right arm.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" Tippy asked.  
  
Aragorn looked up. "Who? Me?"  
  
"No. The obsessed fangirl leeching onto you. Of COURSE you!" Tippy rolled her eyes.  
  
"What am I doing wrong?" he asked.  
  
"You're CUTTING your pizza!" Tippy exclaimed.  
  
All the kids except Lisa gasped.  
  
"Do you find FAULT in Aragorn?!" Lisa yelled. "He is perfect! How dare you insult the perfectness of my perfect man!"  
  
"Lisa," Tracy said. "You don't have a man!"  
  
"How many times must I tell you?!" Lisa shouted. "I'm WORKING on it!!!"  
  
Tippy ignored the two and said, "You don't cut up your pizza unless it's ginormous."  
  
"Hey man," Bryan told Tip. "That is SO my word."  
  
Tippy rolled her eyes again and turned back to Aragorn. "You just pick it up and eat it."  
  
Aragorn sighed and proceeded to eat his pizza the way he wanted. Tippy grumbled and ate it the RIGHT way. She then picked up something else on her plate and ate it with a spoon with prongs.  
  
"What's that?" Merry asked.  
  
Tippy grinned. "This, my friend, is toast! And I am eating it with a spork! Would anyone else like toast and sporks?"  
  
"No," all said in unison.  
  
Tippy glared. "Fine!"  
  
"Tomorrow, I'm making dinner," Sam said.  
  
"Yes!" Brittney exclaimed. "Let Sam make us a meal!"  
  
Everyone stared at her.  
  
"What?!" Brittney said. "Do you have a problem with Sam making dinner?"  
  
"No, but we have a problem with you," Bryan replied.  
  
Brittney glared at him and got out of her chair. "I'll be in my room staring at my Justin Timberlake and Eminem posters."  
  
She left and after a while, Tracy looked up. "Did she say Justin Timberlake and Eminem posters?"  
  
"Yes, but who are they?" Boromir asked.  
  
Tracy jumped up and ran after her. "There is NO way I'm having them in the room! Brittney! Brittney!!!!!!!!!"  
  
The others sat in silence for a few minutes.  
  
"So!" Ben grinned, breaking the silence. "How y'all doing this holiday season?"  
  
Glares from everyone else.  
  
Ben's smile faded. "Never mind."  
  
"Let's go around the table and introduce ourselves!" Ashley suggested.  
  
The guys groaned.  
  
"Aww! C'mon!" Tippy said. "It'll be fun!"  
  
"That's what you said before you ate that Ho Ho at the Christmas party in less than a minute," Dajotre reminded.  
  
"I thought I told you NOT to bring that back up!!!" Tippy yelled.  
  
Ashley ignored them. "I'll start! My name is Ashley and I love Japanese animation and POCKY!!!" (For those of you that don't know what pocky is, it is a Japanese food that's like a pretzel dipped in strawberry or chocolate. I think it might come in other flavors, but I've only tried those. Strawberry is D4 B35T!!! *Da Best*)  
  
"My name is Tippy but my real name is-," she made a face, "too evil to be spoken. And I also like pocky and Japanese animation."  
  
Peter sighed and said as if it took more effort than he possessed, "My name is Peter and I'm a Christian like the rest of us. My birthday is October 4th and my favorite colors are orange and yellow. I-."  
  
"My name is Ben!" Ben interrupted. "And I like monkies and Star Wars!"  
  
"My name is Bryan," Bryan said. "And I like snowboarding and P.O.D!"  
  
"I'm Lisa!" Lisa continued. "And I love Aragorn!"  
  
"We know!" everyone else said.  
  
"I'm also a gymnast and really smart!" Lisa added.  
  
Dajotre said in a monotone, "My name is Daniel but everyone calls me Dajotre. That's because you take the first two letters in my first and middle name, and the first three in my last name. I like Japanese animation such as Mega Tokyo, and I will work for bandwith."  
  
Tracy was dragging Brittney downstairs at the time and caught onto what was going on.  
  
"My name is Tracy," she said. "And I play the piano and saxophone!"  
  
"So do I!" Peter exclaimed. "Umm...the saxophone that is."  
  
"I wish I could play the violin," Tracy added. "I also act, sing and write. And I also like Kareshi Kanojo No Jijou, Frasier, The Practice and more!"  
  
"My name is Brittney," Brittney said. "And I like Justin Timberlake, Eminem, Matchbox 20..."  
  
FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...  
  
"...Daniel Bedingfield and...did I mention Justin?"  
  
"Five times," Ashley replied. "FRODO! You're next!"  
  
"My name is Frodo Baggins," Frodo said, "and I am the Ringbearer. Or at least I was."  
  
Sam was next. "My name is Samwise Gamgee and I like to garden and cook."  
  
"My name is Meriadoc Brandybuck," Merry continued, "but ONLY CALL ME MERRY!!!"  
  
"My name is Peregrin Took, but everyone calls me Pippin," Pippin said. "I like ale and pipeweed!"  
  
Aragorn spoke next. "I'm Aragorn, son of Arathorn-"  
  
"Ooh!" Lisa interrupted. "Can I say it?!"  
  
Aragorn looked over at a grinning Legolas. "Whatever."  
  
"Aragorn, son of Arathorn, chieftan of Dunedain of Arnor, captain of the host of the West, banner of the Star of the North, wielder of the sword reforged, victorious in battle, who hands bring healing, the Elfstone, Elessar of the line of Valandiel, Isildur's son, Elendil's son of Numenor," Lisa recited in one breath.  
  
Everyone was silent for a moment. Then Dajotre clapped with absolutely no enthusiasm.  
  
"The Aragorn fangirl strikes again," Dajotre said in a monotone. "Mazeltov!"  
  
"Where did you learn that?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"I memorized it," Lisa said proudly.  
  
"Next!" Tracy interrupted.  
  
Legolas sighed, "My name is Legolas Greenleaf-."  
  
Bryan, Ben, Peter and Dajotre started laughing hystarically. Legolas glanced over at them.  
  
"What?!" Tracy demanded.  
  
"Gre-Gree-Greenleaf!" Ben managed to make out through his laughter.  
  
"That's hilarious!" Peter exclaimed.  
  
"I wouldn't be talking, Peter," Ashley said. "Your name means "the rock.""  
  
Peter stopped laughing and hit Dajotre on the head. "Okay guys. Listen."  
  
Legolas sighed. "My name is Legolas Greenleaf and I really wish I weren't here right now."  
  
Tippy pulled out a dagger. "That can be arranged."  
  
"Tippy!" Brittney shouted. "Put the pointy weapon DOWN!!!"  
  
Reluctantly, Tip put the dagger away.  
  
"My name is Gandalf the White," Gandalf said. "And I am a pyromaniac."  
  
Ben and Bryan stood up applauding and cheering.  
  
"All right! Welcome to the club!" Ben exclaimed.  
  
"Sit down!" Tippy yelled.  
  
"Control freak!" someone coughed.  
  
Tip's eyes darted around to find the soon-to-be-dead convict.  
  
"My name is Boromir, son of Denethor," Boromir continued. "And I should be dead right now."  
  
Gimli finished the introductions. "My name is Gimli, son of Gloin, and I like breaking things!"  
  
"All right," Brittney said. "Now that we're all done with this little kindergarten routine, it's time to go to sleep."  
  
"But it's only 9:00!" Ben yelled.  
  
"Well it's 10:00 on the east coast!" Brittney said.  
  
Grumbling, the others stormed upstairs.  
  
"I absolutely HATE it here!" Peter shouted. "I don't have a TV, computer or video camera! And the worst part of it is I'm almost out of duct tape!!!"  
  
"So?" Bryan asked.  
  
Peter pulled out his backpack made entirely out of duct tape. It had a hole in the bottom. "I can't fix it!"  
  
"Well maybe everything will turn out okay," Dajotre said.  
  
"Wow!" Ben exclaimed. "Dajotre's optomistic!"  
  
Dajotre glared at him. "You shall die at sunrise if you say that again!"  
  
(Next chapter: "Male Bashing" o_O) 


	3. Male Bashing

Chapter 3- Male Bashing  
  
crystal-rose15: lol It is quite sad. I'm glad you're enjoying this! Still a Ben fan, eh? I will give Lisa and I each a half vote. lol  
  
Daj: Dajotre, you mortal! lol Arwen will be coming soon, Dajotre. I'm sorry if you get, ehm, brutally beaten in this chapter. I'll give Peter a half vote.  
  
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*gasp* Not very many reviews this time!  
  
Favorite Votes:  
  
Ashley- 0  
  
Ben- 4 (Leader)  
  
Brittney- 1  
  
Bryan- 0  
  
Dajotre- 1  
  
Lisa- 1 1/2  
  
Peter- 0  
  
Tippy- 1  
  
Tracy- 1 1/2 (Yes!)  
  
The next morning, at about 10, Peter wandered downstairs. Legolas and Gimli were eating breakfast with Ben.  
  
Peter yawned. "Is everyone awake?"  
  
"Tracy's the last one," Ben replied, pouring more sugar onto his Frosted Flakes.  
  
Peter stared, noticing that there was already almost an inch of sugar on top of the cereal.  
  
"How long can she sleep?!" Legolas asked.  
  
"She said that she slept until 11:30 once," Ben said, digging into his now Coated Flakes.  
  
Peter sat down and poured himself some cereal when an earth-shattering scream echoed through the house.  
  
"What was that?!" Gimli asked, looking around.  
  
"Oh nothing," Peter answered. "Just Tip and Dajotre fighting again."  
  
At the same time in the living room, Tip and Dajotre were arguing over nothing.  
  
"No!" Tippy yelled. "It's Care-ih-bee-an!"  
  
"It's pronounced Cah-rib-ee-in!" Dajotre shouted, stabbing his finger in the air to make his point.  
  
All the while, Brittney and Ashley sat watching them. Brittney had finally decided that she loved Merry more than Frodo by 0.0156987559%. So she sat with her arm around Merry while Ashley was hugging Frodo so hard that he could hardly breathe.  
  
Tippy pulled out a dictionary. "See? It's right here!"  
  
Dajotre snatched the book away and read. "It also says that it can be pronounced the way I said it."  
  
"TIPPY! DAJOTRE! SHUT UP!!!" a voice came from upstairs followed by the slamming of a door.  
  
"Tracy's awake," Bryan mumbled. "But where is Arwen?"  
  
After Tracy had woken up, Tippy slowly approached Boromir, an evil grin on her face.  
  
"Hey Boromir!" Tippy grinned. "Dajotre told me that he thinks that Faramir is WAY better than you!"  
  
She ran off, leaving Boromir fuming. Dajotre overheard her lie and scanned for a target: Legolas.  
  
"Hey Legolas," he said.  
  
"Hello," Legolas mumbled.  
  
"You know what?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Tippy thinks you're a PRETTY BOY!!!"  
  
Dajotre ran off, leaving Legolas wide eyed with rage.  
  
This went on for sometime. Many interesting comments came out, including, "Hey Tracy! Dajotre said that Pippin, Legolas and Elrond aren't all that awesome." Also, "Hey Gimli! Tippy said that if brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to power a Hobbit's motorcycle around the perimeter of a penny."  
  
Although Gimli did not understand what gasoline or a motorcycle was, he could tell it was an insult. By the end of the day, the allies looked like this:  
  
Tippy:Dajotre:  
  
AshleyPeter  
  
BrittneyBryan  
  
LisaBen  
  
TracyLegolas  
  
SamMerry  
  
BoromirFrodo  
  
GandalfGimli  
  
PippinAragorn  
  
Tracy pulled out a piece of paper and scanned it. "Let's see. We've done pronounciation which was a tie, rumors which was also a tie, so next is video games!"  
  
Before lunch, Dajotre came back from outside, carrying a TV, a PlayStation 2 and a box of video games. The kids cheered and ran over, leaving the Fellowship, as usual, confused.  
  
"How'd you get to your house without a car?" Ben asked.  
  
"I don't know," Dajotre said. "It's Tracy's story."  
  
Tracy grinned. "Plot device, my friends. Plot device."  
  
Dajotre hooked up the game and Tip immediately took one of the controls.  
  
"I challenged you to a game of Soul Calibur II!" Dajotre shouted.  
  
Dajotre chose Kilik and Tippy selected Talin. Soon, the battle began. Dajotre one the first battle and Tip the second. Soon, it came down to the final round.  
  
"This calls for some dramatic music," Bryan declared.  
  
He whipped out his trumpet and played "Ride of the Valkyries." The two rivals glared at each other.  
  
"May the best win," Tippy said.  
  
"I plan to," Dajotre shot back.  
  
The two virtual warriors attacked each other almost as fierce as the players themselves. The others sat by the TV, cheering on their favorite. Dajotre appeared to have more fans, but that didn't faze Tippy one bit. She attacked as if her very life depended on it, when, virtually, it did. In the end, it came out in her favor.  
  
"The champion!" Tracy exclaimed, raising Tip's arm.  
  
Bryan started to play "Chariots of Fire."  
  
"You cheated!" Dajotre yelled.  
  
"That's so cliche, Dajotre," Tippy smirked. "You know I didn't cheat for I am one with the PS2."  
  
Dajotre glared, and then flipped off the console.  
  
Tracy looked at the list again. "Okay so it's Dajotre 2 and Tippy 3. Next is-." She paused. "All Out Male Bashing?"  
  
Tippy gasped. "How did that get on there? Oh well! It's on the list!"  
  
She whipped out a mallet. Dajotre quickly grabbed Gimli and put him in from of himself. The mallet hit Gimli on the head, knocking him over. He ran into Frodo, who slammed into Ben who smacked Merry in the face.  
  
"Oops!" Ben exclaimed. "Sorry! Reflex."  
  
Merry glared and prepared to strike him back. Ben ducked out of the way and Merry *gasp* touched Bryan's hair.  
  
Bryan slowly turned. "Did you just touch my hair?"  
  
Tippy started bashing all the guys while the girls sat and watched. Legolas was knocked down and Tracy rushed to his side. Brittney, Ashley and Lisa rolled their eyes, but then noticed that their own "men" were down. Each girl shouted their "man's" name and ran over to them. In the end, Tippy was victorious.  
  
"I have THE POWER!!!" Tippy exclaimed, standing on top of Dajotre's fallen body.  
  
"You win," Dajotre weakly said.  
  
Tracy looked at her list while holding an ice pack to Legolas's head. "Score is Tippy 4 and Dajotre 2. Next is...Go Fish?"  
  
Dajotre rose. "I will rule!"  
  
Well, how many of you would really want the details of Go Fish? Let's just sum it up and say Dajotre did succeed in defeating Tippy.  
  
Tracy was still sitting on the sofa with Legolas laying unconscious off to the side of her when she said, "Score Dajotre 3 and Tippy 4. And our final competition is-," she paused and then sighed, throwing the list in the air, "Candy Land."  
  
Tippy and Dajotre set up the game, carefully choosing their pieces. Tip selected red and Dajotre, yellow. Things began in Dajotre's favor, but Tippy quickly pulled ahead. She seemed like she was on fire, but then Dajotre moved all the way to Princess Lolly! Tippy quickly caught up and it looked like she'd win. But then, she was caught in the Molasses Swamp! Dajotre won!  
  
"The final score," Tracy said, still tending to a sore and exhausted Legolas, "Dajotre 4 and Tippy 4."  
  
"A tie?!" the rivals exclaimed.  
  
Later, Ashley came in to check on Tippy. She sat in the darkness, brooding over the Candy Land game.  
  
"Umm...Tippy?" Ashley said cautiously.  
  
"Yes," Tippy replied, emotionless.  
  
"It's time for dinner," Ashley told her.  
  
"Is Gimli cooking?" Tippy asked in the same tone.  
  
"Yes," Ashley nodded.  
  
..........  
  
"I'm not hungry."  
  
Ashley shrugged and walked away, leaving Tippy mumbling to herself.  
  
(Next chapter: Mountain Dew and Dancing Games) 


	4. Mountain Dew and Dancing Games

Chapter 4- Mountain Dew and Dancing Games  
  
(I'm sorry, Peter! *That is, if you're reading this.* I didn't count your half vote!)  
  
Kitt: You can like show up and stay FAR AWAY from MY MAN!!!  
  
Daj: I'm sorry, Daj. It was all Tippy's idea.  
  
Rachel13: He is MY MAN!!! lol  
  
Definitely not Daj: Riiiiight.  
  
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Favorite Votes:  
  
Ashley- 0  
  
Ben- 4 (Leader)  
  
Brittney- 1  
  
Bryan- 0  
  
Dajotre- 2  
  
Lisa- 1 1/2  
  
Peter- 1/2 (Sorry! e_e;)  
  
Tippy- 1  
  
Tracy- 1 1/2 (Yes!)  
  
(This chapter is quite insane...lol.)  
  
After Sam's dinner, Peter opened up the refridgerator and pulled out a large bottle. He set it on the table and unscrewed the lid. Pippin and Merry watched as he pulled out a cup and poured out the yellow liquid. He put the glass to his lips and drank the whole thing, not pausing for air. He set the glass down and sighed, refreshed.  
  
"What's Mountain Dew?" Pippin asked, reading the side of the bottle.  
  
Peter's mouth dropped open. "You have not experienced the joy of the Dew?!"  
  
"No..." Merry said.  
  
A clattering sound came from the doorway to the kitchen. The three turned and saw Bryan standing there, the Game Boy he was holding laying on the ground.  
  
"We. Must. Educate them!!!" Bryan exclaimed.  
  
Peter quickly pulled out three more glasses, and Bryan cleared his throat.  
  
"The History of Mountain Dew," Bryan started. "Mountain Dew is a product of the Coca-Cola Company, all rights reserved. Mountain Dew came out in the late 80's or early 90's, if I'm not mistaken. Many loved it, especially teenagers like myself. They have shortened it to the Dew. Other companies have tried to mimick Mountain Dew, including Mt. Lightning. But sometimes, the original is just better. So...just Dew it."  
  
Peter had already poured the drinks. "To the Dew!"  
  
"To the Dew!" Merry, Pippin and Bryan echoed.  
  
FIVE MINUTES LATER...  
  
"Frodo!!!" Merry shouted, running into the living room. "Frodo!!!"  
  
Frodo got up from his seat next to Ashley and came over to him. "What is it Merry?"  
  
"The Dew," Merry said.  
  
"The what?"  
  
"Mountain Dew. You have GOT to try it!"  
  
"I don't think so, Merry. Remember what happened LAST time you had me try a drink?"  
  
"Maybe that was a little too strong for you. But forget that! This is better!"  
  
"I don't think so," Frodo said, sitting back down.  
  
Merry shrugged. "Okay. More for us."  
  
Frodo, Aragorn and Legolas were watching Tippy and Tracy, who were hard at work setting up some kind of game.  
  
"What are you doing?" Aragorn asked. (Lisa had hardly left him all day.)  
  
"Setting up Pump it Up," Tippy replied.  
  
Legolas and Aragorn looked at each other.  
  
"What?" Legolas asked.  
  
"It's a dancing game. Just watch," Tracy replied.  
  
The dance pads were set up, and the two girls stood. The screen flickered on with bright colors and fast music.  
  
"You know, I didn't think they had Pump it Up for PS2," Ashley said from her place next to Frodo.  
  
Tip and Tracy looked at each other, and said in unison, "Plot device."  
  
The screen changed to another, and singing in another language sounded.  
  
"Ooh! That one!" Tracy exclaimed, pointing at the screen.  
  
"We always do that song!" Tippy yelled. "Let's do 'Beethoven Virus.'"  
  
"Fine!" Tracy sighed.  
  
Boromir entered, raising an eyebrow at the screen. Out of their own curiosity, Legolas, Boromir and Aragorn moved to sit closer to the TV. Symbols came scrolling up with catchy pop music playing in the background. The symbols were arrows and a circular shape. The two men and the Elf watched as the symbols came to the top, where an outline of the shape was. They would meet, hopefully in time to Tip and Tracy's movement, light up, and display either "Good," "Perfect," "Bad," or "Miss." Tracy seemed to be getting more misses and bads than Tippy.  
  
The song ended and displayed an evaluation chart. Tippy received an A+ while Tracy got an F.  
  
Tracy sighed. "That song's too fast! It's not fair! Coelti has DDR and you're ALWAYS at her house!"  
  
Tippy laughed evilly. Tracy turned to Legolas.  
  
"Do you want to try?" she asked.  
  
"Umm...I don't think so," Legolas shook his head.  
  
"Pleeeease?!" Tracy begged.  
  
"Don't worry Legolas," Tippy smirked. "She's as bad as they come. You'll be able to beat her in NO time."  
  
Tracy glared at Tippy. " "It's easy," is what she's trying to say."  
  
She pulled Legolas to his feet. "C'mon! I'll show you."  
  
"THIS will be interesting," Ashley grinned. "Right Frodo?"  
  
Frodo smiled. "That's right, Ashley."  
  
Tracy quickly explained the rules, Legolas nodding the whole time.  
  
"Okay?" she asked.  
  
Legolas nodded again. "All right."  
  
"You got it?" Tracy asked hopefully.  
  
"No," Legolas replied.  
  
"Well, it's easy to follow along," Tracy answered. "Let's start."  
  
Tracy quickly chose a song, suspiciously entitled "I Love You."  
  
Legolas glanced at her. "What are you hinting at?"  
  
Tracy arched an eyebrow. "I have no idea what you're talking about."  
  
The song started, and Aragorn immeadiately started laughing hystarically. Lisa and Boromir started laughing to, but Frodo and Ashley just grinned modestly. Gimli and Ben strode in, and each raised an eyebrow in confusion. Then, slowly, both started laughing. The song was soon over, Tracy receiving an A, and Legolas...a D.  
  
"You lost to a girl!" Aragorn laughed.  
  
Legolas glared. "All right, your majesty. You and Lisa can be next."  
  
Aragorn's face turned pale. "What?"  
  
Lisa leapt to her feet. "This is gonna be like...DANCING WITH ARAGORN!!!"  
  
She grabbed Aragorn by the arm and yanked him over to the PS2 game. Ironically, she chose the song "Till the End of Time." Legolas laughed, causing Aragorn to whirl around and glare at him.  
  
"Your game has started, Estel," Legolas grinned, pointing to the screen.  
  
Aragorn whirled back around, seeing that he had already missed 5 steps. He quickly caught up, ignoring the laughter in the back. Lisa beat him in no time. Aragorn turned around to see Ben and Gimli literally rolling on the floor with laughter, and Boromir and Legolas struggling to stay standing from laughter.  
  
"Amateurs," a voice said. *Get ready for ultimate insanity!*  
  
Everyone looked to the back of the room to see Gandalf standing there, shaking his head.  
  
"What?" Brittney asked. "Where'd you come from?"  
  
Lisa glanced over at her. "I could ask you the same question."  
  
"Do you honestly think that you-?" Gimli began.  
  
"I'll take him on," Tippy interrupted.  
  
Gandalf handed Brittney his staff and she looked at it, plotting. Gandalf came over to the TV screen. Tippy smirked arrogantly and chose one of the hardest songs. It was the song from earlier: "Beethoven Virus." Tippy and Gandalf began the round. Tippy was quite sure of herself, but she glanced over at Gandalf's side of the screen to see that he was getting all perfects! She panicked and started missing easy steps. Gandalf beat her in no time.  
  
At the same time, caffinated Peter, Bryan, Merry and Pippin came running in with the Dew.  
  
"What's going on?" Dajotre asked, he and Sam entering the room.  
  
"Stand back!" Bryan shouted, pointing a bottle at Dajotre.  
  
Dajotre stared at the bottlecap. "A bottle of the Dew?"  
  
Bryan pulled in back and shook it up as hard as he could. The kids eyes widened with fear.  
  
"Bryan," Brittney said slowly. "Put. The bottle. Down."  
  
His eyes gleamed with evil as he continued to shake it.  
  
"Don't do it, man!" Ben shouted.  
  
Bryan put his fingers on the cap as the kids protested. He unscrewed the lid, sending Mountain Dew everywhere. At the same exact moment, the door opened. Two figures stood in the doorway, confused and horrified. The Mountain Dew stopped spraying, but the walls, furniture and residents of the house were covered in it.  
  
"Do we have the right place?" one asked.  
  
Bryan's mouth dropped open. "A--Ar--ARWEN!!!"  
  
(Next chapter: Evil Plotting) 


	5. Who Are YOU?

Chapter 5- Who Are YOU?  
  
Daj: I'll think about the evil plotting Daj. Let's see...  
  
sapzticredheddedhobbit: lol The Dew rules!  
  
butterflyer: Tip will do that to you. lol  
  
Rachel13: *whips out bow and arrow* C'mon! Let's go! Bring it on! I actually know how to use this thing!  
  
Not Daj: Riiiiiight.  
  
Lalaithiel Noleambar: Peter needs votes. I'd vote for him to increase his votes if I wasn't the author. ...Shut up Tippy.  
  
Marauderluver4-ever: I absolutely love Pippin!  
  
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Favorite Votes:  
  
Ashley- 0  
  
Ben- 5 (Leader)  
  
Brittney- 1  
  
Bryan- 0  
  
Dajotre- 2  
  
Lisa- 1 1/2  
  
Peter- 1 1/2  
  
Tippy- 2  
  
Tracy- 1 1/2 (Yes!)  
  
(I've postponed "Evil Plotting" to a later chapter.)  
  
(BIG Mistake in the Last Chapter: Bryan says that the Dew is a product of the Pepsi Company. Sorry!)  
  
Aragorn sighed with relief. "Arwen!"  
  
He came over and embraced his wife while Lisa glared at the Elf.  
  
"Estel, you're soaking!" Arwen exclaimed.  
  
Pippin staggered over and raised a glass to her. "The Dew, my lady!"  
  
Eowyn raised an eyebrow at the Hobbit. The two newcomers walked inside, Lisa still glaring at Arwen.  
  
"Is she all right?" Arwen asked Brittney.  
  
"Oh, she's just trying to steal your man," Brittney replied, leading Arwen to her room.  
  
"What?" Arwen stopped walking.  
  
Brittney turned around. "She loves Aragorn or Estelle or...whatever you called him."  
  
"She loves Estel?" Arwen asked.  
  
"That's it!" Brittney exclaimed. "Estel! ESTEL!!! She loves Estel."  
  
She kept walking down the hall, Arwen following, needless to say, confused.  
  
"I REFUSE to stay in the same room with that...that-" Lisa yelled.  
  
"Watch your language, Lisa," Tracy mumbled.  
  
"That...ARAGORN STEALER!!!" Lisa finished.  
  
"Actually," Ashley said, "you never had Aragorn to begin with, first of all. Second of all, Arwen saw Aragorn about 87 years ago. You weren't even BORN 87 years ago. So she saw him first. You stole HIM from HER!"  
  
Lisa pouted, "But I love him more."  
  
"She gave up her immortality for him," Tippy added.  
  
"I would've!" Lisa protested.  
  
Ashley, Tippy and Tracy stared at her.  
  
"I'm sure," Tracy murmured.  
  
Arwen and Eowyn came into the room to see posters of Aragorn all over the walls. They also noticed "Police Line- Do Not Cross" tape surrounding one of the beds. Sitting on that bed, staring hatefully at Arwen, was Lisa.  
  
"Ummm...hello," Arwen said, trying to be nice. "I'm Arwen."  
  
"I know," Lisa said in a monotone.  
  
"I'm Eowyn," Eowyn introduced.  
  
Lisa slowly turned. "I know that too. And you BOTH are trying to steal MY MAN!!!"  
  
She stepped over the tape and stormed out of the room. Eowyn and Arwen looked at each other, very scared of Lisa.  
  
The next morning, Frodo was the first one to wake up. He came downstairs and saw someone laying on the couch. He slowly walked over, and recognized the person.  
  
"Uhh...Lisa?" Frodo said. "Lisa?!"  
  
Lisa snapped awake. "What?"  
  
"Why aren't you in your room?" Frodo asked.  
  
"I TOLD you!" Lisa sighed. "I REFUSE to be in the same room as them!"  
  
Frodo shrugged and walked into the kitchen to find four more people inside. Two were laying on the table, and the other two had collapsed on the floor. Frodo slowly approached one on the table.  
  
He gently shook their arm. "Merry?...Merry?!"  
  
Merry's eyes slowly opened and he whispered, "Frodo...the Dew lives on."  
  
Frodo shook his head and looked at the others. Pippin, Peter and Bryan were still asleep. He woke each of them and then said, "I didn't think you could get drunk on Mountain Dew."  
  
Bryan staggered to his feet. "First of all, it's "the Dew." Second of all, you can't! We were awake until 4. That's why we're...we're..."  
  
"Tired?" Frodo tried.  
  
"Yes!" Bryan exclaimed. "Yes! Tired!"  
  
Frodo looked at the clock. "It's 7. No wonder."  
  
Merry and the others decided to just sleep in their own rooms instead of taking up space in the kitchen. Frodo slowly opened the refridgerator door, half expecting something else to jump out at him. He sighed with relief and pulled out the pitcher of juice. He turned, screamed, and dropped the pitcher.  
  
"What?" the new person asked.  
  
"Who are you?" Frodo asked. "And what are you doing here?"  
  
"I received an invitation to be here," they answered. "My flight was delayed. And my name is Kitt!"  
  
"Kitt?" Frodo asked. "That's not a real name."  
  
"And what do you call Frodo?" Kitt asked. "Okay. My name's Kathryn. But if you call me that YOU SHALL DIE!!!"  
  
Frodo stepped back a little. "All right, all right."  
  
He knelt down and started mopping up the orange juice. "Aren't you going to help me?"  
  
"Of course not!" she exclaimed. "YOU dropped it!"  
  
Frodo sighed and grabbed another towel as Kitt walked out of the room.  
  
Tippy came downstairs at the same time as Kitt walked out.  
  
"Kitt!!!" Tippy exclaimed.  
  
"Tippy!!!" Kitt shouted.  
  
"Kitt!!!"  
  
"Tippy!!!"  
  
"Kitt!!!"  
  
"Tippy!!!"  
  
"Uhh...Ben!" a voice from behind Tippy said.  
  
Tippy moved to let Ben pass. He looked at Kitt.  
  
"I suppose you're Kitt," Ben said.  
  
"Yes!" Kitt exclaimed. "I am Kitt!"  
  
Ben joined Frodo in the kitchen. "That's not a real name."  
  
"Tell me about it," Frodo agreed.  
  
Since there were only three people in the last room, Kitt joined the Aragorn lovers...even though she loved Legolas. ...Uh-Oh. Problem.  
  
Tracy came downstairs and saw Kitt in the living room watching Tip and Brittney play Rival Schools. (Really old game!)  
  
"Excuse me," Tracy said. "Kitt, what are you doing here with your Legolas obsession."  
  
"Don't worry, Tracy," Kitt replied. "I brought a clone."  
  
"What?" Tracy asked.  
  
Kitt stood up. "Remember when I said that I was gonna clone Legolas, and I said I only liked him for his looks? Well, I did! I've got one to clean my room, another to walk around without his shirt on, and another one to just follow me everywhere." *Remember this Kitt?*  
  
Tracy nodded. "Okay. So where are they?"  
  
"Well, two are still at my house," Kitt replied. "The other one's making me breakfast."  
  
Legolas came downstairs and into the kitchen to see...himself. He did a double-take, making sure that Gimli didn't put something in his drink again.  
  
"Ummm...hello?" Legolas said, unsure.  
  
"Legolas" nodded and walked out the door with Kitt's breakfast. The real Legolas watched as he came over to the newcomer and gave her the tray.  
  
"Thank you, Orlando," Kitt smiled, receiving a hug from her "boyfriend."  
  
'Orlando?' Legolas thought. 'What kind of a name is Orlando?'  
  
"So you're calling this one Orlando," Tracy said.  
  
"Well I figured that if I called them all Legolas it would get confusing," Kitt replied. "So this one's Orlando, #1 is Legolas, and #2 is Will."  
  
"Ah! So it's a good thing you didn't bring the first one," Tracy grinned.  
  
Legolas collapsed into a chair and laid his head on the table.  
  
"Are you all right, Legolas?" a voice said.  
  
He lifted his head to see Aragorn standing there, concerned for Legolas's health.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine," Legolas replied. "I'm getting over the fact that I have...uhh...what did they call them? ....Clones."  
  
"Clones?" Aragorn asked, looking into the living room.  
  
"Copies," Dajotre said walking into the kitchen. "Kitt has copied Legolas."  
  
He paused. "Hey! Where'd she get that technology?! I must find out!"  
  
Dajotre grabbed a piece of toast and orange juice and ran into the living room.  
  
After breakfast, Legolas cautiously came into the living room. Kitt and Brittney were playing Rival Schools while Tracy and Ashley watched. Legolas sat down and looked around.  
  
"Where's-?" he began.  
  
"Orlando?" Tracy finished. "He's asleep. Geez, Kitt! Give him a break! You had him running errands for you 24/7 yesterday."  
  
"I will," Kitt replied.  
  
"He doesn't seem to talk much," Brittney said.  
  
"That's because WILL'S the talkative one," Kitt answered, punching Brittney's virtual character.  
  
"Hey!" Brittney yelled. "That's not fair!"  
  
(Next Chapter: Evil Plotting *THIS time I'll do it.* Keep on voting for your favorite kid!) 


	6. Evil Plotting

Chapter 6- Evil Plotting  
  
Daj: Of course you vote Daj. lol I don't count your extra votes. Just your first one. ^_^  
  
butterflyer: Legolas clones! Now every girl can have their own Legolas!  
  
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Favorite Votes:  
  
Ashley- 0  
  
Ben- 5 (Leader)  
  
Brittney- 1  
  
Bryan- 0  
  
Dajotre- 2  
  
Kitt- 1  
  
Lisa- 1 1/2  
  
Peter- 1 1/2  
  
Tippy- 2  
  
Tracy- 1 1/2 (Yes!)  
  
"Lisa!" Brittney yelled, knocking on her door. "Lisa!!! Lunch!"  
  
"I refuse to eat at the same table as Arwen!" Lisa shouted from inside.  
  
Brittney sighed. "Well, I guess Orlando's gonna have to send some up to her."  
  
A few minutes later, another knock was at Lisa's door.  
  
"What?!" Lisa screamed.  
  
"Your food, Lady Lisa," Orlando said. *Lady Lisa?! rotfl*  
  
Lisa opened the door and took the tray of food. "Thank you, Legolas."  
  
"My name's Orlando," Orlando replied. "I'm Legolas's clone."  
  
She stared and then rolled her eyes. "Tracy's gone off the deep end."  
  
"I'm Kitt's boyfriend," he said.  
  
Lisa blinked. "Okaaaay. Thanks."  
  
She shut the door and Orlando left.  
  
"What is she doing up there?" Sam asked as he ate the lunch Dajotre made. *Dajotre can cook? lol Sorry, Daj.*  
  
"Probably plotting my death," Arwen mumbled.  
  
"Don't say that," Aragorn told her.  
  
"No, she's right," Tracy replied. "Lisa loves you, Aragorn. Arwen loves you. See what I'm getting at?"  
  
"Not really," Aragorn answered after a pause.  
  
Brittney sighed and pulled a chalkboard out of nowhere. "You+Arwen= Lisa trying to kill Arwen! You+Lisa=Lisa is happy! You+Eowyn=Neither Arwen nor Lisa is happy!"  
  
"You can't go two ways about this, can you?" Peter asked.  
  
"Peter, don't help," Tippy grumbled.  
  
Peter shrugged. "Fine. Don't ask for my help. It's not like I don't know anything about love or women or anything."  
  
Tippy looked over at him. "We know."  
  
"So..." Dajotre said. "Kitt, where'd you get the technology to clone Legolas?"  
  
"Like I'd tell you," Kitt answered.  
  
"Of course you would!" Dajotre responded. "We're friends, right?"  
  
Kitt looked up at him, then at Tippy, then back at Dajotre.  
  
"Kind of you," Dajotre murmured.  
  
Later, Tracy came in from outside with a handful of mail.  
  
"Mail's here!" she announced.  
  
"Mail?" the others said.  
  
"Who's sending letters to us?" Brittney asked.  
  
Tracy sat down on the chair and opened the first letter.  
  
"Dear Everyone," she began. "You pitiful attempts at trying to live with each other will only lead to your downfall. Ha Ha Hahaha! Sincerely, Lord Elrond. P.S.- Bryan, give me back my wine."  
  
Bryan sat on a chair at the other side of the room with a large bottle of dark purple wine. He looked up innocently.  
  
"What?" he said. "I bought this!"  
  
"You're under the legal drinking age," Ben said.  
  
"I know," Bryan said. "I knew that. But THEY DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT!!!"  
  
"Who's they?" Ben asked.  
  
Bryan gestured around the room. "Can't you see them? They're everywhere!!!"  
  
Everyone looked at each other and shrugged.  
  
"What's the next letter say?" Pippin asked, coming to sit down next to Tracy.  
  
"I wanna read!" Brittney said.  
  
Tracy handed her the letter.  
  
"Dear Everyone," she began. " (Hmm...that sounds familiar.) Please forgive me for my absence. I was called to an urgent meeting. I hope to be joining you shortly. Sincerely, Faramir of Gondor P.S.- Bryan, give me back my wine."  
  
They looked back over at Bryan who was now holding a bottle of white wine. He was drinking it straight from the bottle, and then looked up.  
  
"What?!" he shouted. "I bought this too!"  
  
"Faramir's coming?" Eowyn asked, dashing into the room.  
  
"Yep," Peter said. "And wait 'till we tell him ALL about you falling madly in love with Estelle."  
  
Tippy whacked him on the head. "It's ESTEL!!!"  
  
"Oh yeah," Peter mumbled, rubbing his head. "I forgot about that minor detail."  
  
Eowyn's eyes widened. "Oh...not good."  
  
Dajotre nodded. "Yep."  
  
Tracy pulled out another letter. "Dear Boromir, I love you! I really miss you, and I forgive you for trying to take the Ring from Frodo. That's all over now so please come home and stay away from Tippy and those other MANIACS!!! Love, Stephanie."  
  
"Awww," everyone chorused.  
  
Boromir glared at them, hatefully.  
  
"Wait!" Tracy interrupted. "There's more! P.S.- Bryan, give me back my sparkling grape juice."  
  
They looked over at Bryan.  
  
"WHAT?!" Bryan screamed. "It was the closest thing to wine! I was out!!!"  
  
They all rolled their eyes.  
  
"Is that all?" Pippin asked.  
  
"No, a couple more," Tracy replied, flipping through the letters. "Geez. I really should've called this chapter "Fan Mail" or something. Anyway, here we go. Dear Kitt, Your Legolas clones are a big help around the house, but Will won't shut up. Did you give him Surge again? Love, Mom."  
  
Kitt's eyes shifted, suspiciously. "Nooo..."  
  
"Last letter. Dear Mr. Dajotre, Your order for a nuclear bomb has been received, and we are turning you into the FBI. Best Regards, the Central Intelligence Agency (C.I.A.)," Tracy read.  
  
Dajotre's face paled. He looked around at everyone, then ran upstairs and slammed the door to his room.  
  
"Wait, there's still more!" Tracy said. "P.S.- Tell Mr. Bryan to give Agent Bob back his wine AND sparkling grape juice, or we shall take drastic action."  
  
Bryan looked around, and then ran upstairs and slammed the door to a various room.  
  
"Hey! Get out!" Lisa shouted. "Can't you see I'm plotting?!"  
  
"Oh, my bad," Bryan said. "Wrong room."  
  
He ran back downstairs, grabbed his wine, and ran down into the basement.  
  
Before dinner, there was a knock at the door. Brittney answered it and the "Mission Impossible Theme" started playing. Two agents in a suit with sunglasses and an earpiece were standing before her. Behind them were two police cars with their lights blinking.  
  
"We're looking for a Mr. Dajotre," one said.  
  
"He's not here," Brittney replied.  
  
"Can we look around then, Miss?" the other asked.  
  
Brittney raised an eyebrow and then moved aside. "Be my guest."  
  
The agents came into the kitchen to see Peter drinking a new bottle of the Dew.  
  
"Are you Mr. Dajotre?" one asked.  
  
Peter put down the bottle and looked up at them. "Do I LOOK like Mr. Dajotre?"  
  
The two agents looked at each other and then walked off. Peter shrugged and continued to drink the sweet nectar of Heaven. The agents searched the whole house and then came back to Brittney.  
  
"So where is he?" the second agent asked.  
  
Brittney sighed and opened up a closet. Dajotre came falling out.  
  
"They always check everywhere but the closet," Brittney mumbled.  
  
Dajotre looked up innocently. "I'm too young to die!"  
  
The first agent handcuffed Daj and dragged him out. The second agent remained. Brittney stared at him.  
  
"What?" she asked. "What do you want?"  
  
"Mr. Bryan," the agent responded.  
  
"Oh," Brittney said.  
  
She walked into the basement and dragged a cowering Bryan back upstairs. The agent held out his hand and Bryan reluctantly handed over the wine and sparkling grape juice. The agent walked outside, and the other members of the house ran out the door to watch them take Dajotre away.  
  
"No!" Tippy shouted. "Who will I torture?! I miss him already!!!"  
  
"Aww," a voice said. "That's so sweet, Tippy."  
  
Tip and the others whirled around.  
  
"Dajotre?!" they all exclaimed.  
  
"Yep," Daj said. "You can't get rid of me THAT easily."  
  
"But...how?" Ben asked.  
  
Dajotre came over to Kitt. "Kitt, I found your cloning machine."  
  
Kitt glared. "Darn it. You're good."  
  
He smiled superiorly. "Yep! And I have successfully cloned myself."  
  
"So are YOU the real Daj, or is THAT the real Daj?" Ashley asked.  
  
"I'M the real Daj," Dajotre said. "But no one else needs to know that."  
  
(Next Chapter: Marriage?) 


	7. Marriage?

Just In . Directory . Columns . Dictionary . Search Log In . Register Menu- Ad Blocker- Help- TOS- Credits- Privacy   
  
  
  
Books » Lord of the Rings » The Lords of the Caffeine text size: (+) : (-)   
  
  
  
Author: Caroline Jordan 1. Moving In2. Dinner3. Male Bashing4. Mountain Dew and Dancing Games5. Who Are YOU?6. Evil Plotting7. Marriage?8. Here Comes Faramir!   
  
  
  
PG - English - Humor/Parody - Reviews: 39 - Published: 12-28-03 - Updated: 01-18-04 id:1661309   
  
  
  
Chapter 7- Marriage?  
  
After the FBI had left, Aragorn cooked dinner, and they all sat down to a "family" meal. Lisa decided to join them at the table when she heard Aragorn was cooking.  
  
Once everyone had begun eating, Brittney said, "I have an announcement to make!"  
  
Everyone looked over at her.  
  
"That's nice," Bryan mumbled.  
  
"I'd like to take this moment to accept Merry's proposal of marriage!" Brittney declared.  
  
Everyone, including Merry, gasped. They all started talking at once.  
  
"Are you serious?!" Bryan exclaimed.  
  
"That's great, Brittney!" Arwen grinned.  
  
Merry just looked around. "Wha-What?"  
  
"Don't you remember?" Brittney asked him. "Last night, I was looking at my Justin Timberlake and Eminem pictures, and you came over, took them away, and said, 'Brittney, worship them no longer. Marry me!'"  
  
Merry raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I did?"  
  
"Of course!" Brittney exclaimed. "See? And then you gave me this engagement ring!"  
  
She held out her hand. On her finger was a vending machine ring with two hearts on it.  
  
"Oh my gosh! Fifty cents! That's a FORTUNE!!!" Tippy shouted.  
  
"Made in China!" Lisa said, examining the ring. "It's beautiful!"  
  
"You are SO lucky, Brittney!" Ashley exclaimed.  
  
Tracy whacked Legolas on the head.  
  
"Ouch! What was that for?!" Legolas yelled, rubbing his head.  
  
"YOU didn't propose to me!" Tracy shouted.  
  
"I'm sorry," Legolas apologized. "I was...waiting for the right time."  
  
The minute those word left his mouth, he regretted them. Aragorn and Gimli cracked up and Gandalf and Boromir were trying not to laugh.  
  
Ignoring, them Sam asked, "Where's your ring, Merry?"  
  
Merry looked at his hand, shocked to see duct tape around one of his fingers.  
  
"Dude!" Peter exclaimed. "5 karat DUCT TAPE!!! Where'd you get?!"  
  
"Umm..." Merry stuttered. "Home Depot?"  
  
Peter sighed. "I always forget to look there!"  
  
"When are you getting married?" Frodo asked over Aragorn and Gimli's laughter. (Gandalf and Boromir had fallen to hystaria as well.)  
  
"In a...few weeks," he said, more like a question.  
  
"So soon?" Eowyn asked.  
  
"Oh, we don't want anything TOO expensive, right Merry?" Brittney said.  
  
Merry paused. "Right."  
  
Pippin, in his state of ecstasy, hugged Merry with as much enthusiasm as he could. "Merry's getting married! Hey! That's a good quote! Sam! Write that down!"  
  
Hense, in two weeks, Brittney and Merry came to a chapel to become man and wife. (Author laughs hystarically.)  
  
Standing at the front of the auditorium, surrounded by Brittney and his family and friends, Merry was shaking like leaf. Pippin, his best man, pat him on the back.  
  
"Are you all right, Merry?" Pippin asked, concerned.  
  
"I didn't ask her to marry me, Pippin," Merry stammered.  
  
"What?!" Pippin exclaimed. "Of course you did! You're just nervous."  
  
Merry looked around at the people part of the wedding. Frodo, Sam, Legolas and the junior high kids were the groom's men (Is there such a thing? I've heard of it!), Aragorn was to give a speech, Boromir and Gandalf were ordered to be the ushers, Lisa and Tracy were the maids of honor (Yes, two.), the other girls were bride's maids, Tippy insisted on being the flower girl, and, much to his dismay, Gimli was the ring bearer. Brittney thought Frodo should have that job, but when Frodo heard about it, he screamed and threatened to kill Merry. o_O  
  
Then, the minister came behind him...Peter Jackson?  
  
"Who are you?" Merry asked.  
  
"Father Jackson," Peter Jackson replied.  
  
Arwen sat down at the organ, Lisa glaring behind her, and she played the wedding march. Brittney came down the aisle with Tippy throwing flowers ahead of her, and Gimli trying to hide behind Tippy.  
  
Brittney and Merry met at the front, and "Father Jackson" said, "Mawige!"  
  
(Think Princess Bride.)  
  
The others raised their eyebrows in a confused look.  
  
"Mawige is what bwings us togever!" he exclaimed. "Wove...Twue wove!"  
  
ONE HOUR LATER...  
  
"Do you take Merry to be your waful wedded husband?" Father Jackson asked Brittney.  
  
"Of course I do!" Brittney exclaimed. "Why do you have to ask?"  
  
"And do you take Brittney to be your waful wedded wife?" he asked Merry.  
  
Merry looked over at his friends. Pippin, Sam and Frodo were sobbing with joy; Aragorn and Legolas were smiling broadly; Boromir and Gandalf were complaining about being ushers; Gimli was hiding behind Tippy, and Eowyn and Arwen were crying too.  
  
"I do," Merry said.  
  
'You do?' the voice in Merry's head said.  
  
"Yes I do," Merry repeated.  
  
"I know pronounce you Hobbit and wife!" Father Jackson declared. "You may kiss the bride!"  
  
Peter, Dajotre, Ben and Bryan burst out laughing as Brittney knelt down and kissed Merry.  
  
After the wedding, they all went back to the house for a reception.  
  
"I'd like to make a speech," Aragorn said.  
  
Everyone groaned except Lisa, Arwen and Eowyn.  
  
Aragorn unrolled a scroll that rolled past Ben and out the door.  
  
"Dearly beloved...I mean, Merry and Brittney," Aragorn read. "Congratulations! We're very happy for you." He rolled up the scroll. "Thank you."  
  
Ben raised an eyebrow, shrugged, and ate his cake.  
  
"So..." Bryan said, "Legolas. What was that you said about you 'waiting for the right time?'"  
  
Gimli and Aragorn started laughing hystarically again, and Legolas glared at Bryan.  
  
Bryan folded his arms superiorly. "Just doin' my job."  
  
(Sorry that was kinda short. But isn't it kawaii?! For those of you that don't know, kawaii means cute...I think.)  
  
(Next Chapter: Here Comes Faramir!)   
  
Submit ReviewReport Possible AbuseAdd Story to FavoritesAdd Author to FavoritesAdd Author to Author Alert 1. Moving In2. Dinner3. Male Bashing4. Mountain Dew and Dancing Games5. Who Are YOU?6. Evil Plotting7. Marriage?8. Here Comes Faramir! 


	8. Here Comes Faramir!

Chapter 8- Here Comes Faramir!  
  
Favorite Votes:  
  
Ashley- 0  
  
Ben- 7 (Leader)  
  
Brittney- 1  
  
Bryan- 1  
  
Dajotre- 2  
  
Kitt- 1  
  
Lisa- 1 1/2  
  
Peter- 1 1/2  
  
Tippy- 3  
  
Tracy- 1 1/2 (Yes!)  
  
kcauz: Poor dogs! lol Thank you very much!  
  
LegosGrl: Very promising it was!  
  
Lalaithiel Noleambar: I knew you were waiting for that cameo!  
  
Rachel13: You think he won't propose, eh? MY STORY!!! lol  
  
butterflyer: Ever?! *dances in circles*  
  
Tangerine Dash: Here you go, Tippy!  
  
Daj: Grr...do you want me to kill you off?! lol  
  
Lapis Rain: Dude! Someone voted for Bryan! I absolutely LOVE Pippin! But so does my language arts teacher, but she can't have him because SHE'S TOO OLD FOR HIM!!! *Sorry if you're reading, Ms. Coaker.*  
  
lisa: Poor Lisa! *sob* 1- Suuuurrreee...lol 2- Riiiiiiight.... I shall write more!  
  
(Sorry I forgot the reviews and such last time.)  
  
Brittney came skipping down the stairs, her new wedding ring on her right hand. She came into the living room and said, "Guess what everybody?!"  
  
They apatheticly looked up at her.  
  
"What?" Dajotre mumbled.  
  
"Today's our one month anniversary!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Oh joy," Bryan said.  
  
"And guess what?!" she grinned.  
  
"What?" Lisa asked.  
  
"I'm Mrs. Brittney Brandybuck!" she shouted. "Excitement! Isn't that the BEST NAME?!"  
  
"Hm," everyone said.  
  
Brittney rolled her eyes and the doorbell rang. No one moved an inch.  
  
"Well don't everybody jump up at one time," Tippy said.  
  
She got up and opened the door to see...  
  
"Fa--Fara---FARAMIR!!!" she screamed.  
  
Tippy leapt into the Son of Gondor's arms. Boromir laughed hystarically at his brother's new circumstance. Faramir looked over at him.  
  
"Boromir?" he said. "I thought you were dead!"  
  
Boromir paused. "Me too."  
  
"Excuse me!" a voice said. "I said EXCUSE ME!"  
  
A girl with glasses and long hair pushed past Faramir and Tippy.  
  
"Theresa!" Lisa, Brittney and Tracy exclaimed.  
  
"Hallo!" she grinned. "I am here! And I will rule all who enter here!"  
  
Dajotre raised an eyebrow. "That's my job, person."  
  
Theresa glared at Daj. "You DARE insult THERESA?!!!"  
  
Dajotre shrugged, and then looked back over at the door. Tippy was still choking Faramir, and at that same exact moment, Eowyn walked in.  
  
"Faramir!" Eowyn exclaimed.  
  
She ran over, but was stopped by Tippy screaming. "MINE!!! GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE!!!"  
  
Eowyn took a step back. "He's MY husband."  
  
"But Eowyn!" Peter grinned. "I thought you loved ARAGORN!"  
  
Eowyn looked over at him and glared. Faramir looked at her.  
  
"What's all this about Aragorn?" he asked.  
  
"Don't listen to him, dear," Eowyn replied. "He's..."  
  
"Mentally retarded is the term you're looking for," Tippy said.  
  
"Hey!" Peter yelled.  
  
Kitt came down with her Legolas clone. She looked over at Tip and Faramir and burst out laughing. "I see you met Tippy. You know, she said that you have...ehm...Tippy, what did you say he had?"  
  
"Fruity lips!" Tippy declared proudly.  
  
"That's it!" Kitt exclaimed. "Fruity lips!"  
  
Faramir raised an eyebrow. "All right then..."  
  
"Where are we gonna put them?" Ashley asked.  
  
All turned to Tracy. She sat there flipping through a magazine. She looked up. "Don't look at me. I'm busy trying to figure out what to get Orlando Bloom for his birthday."  
  
"They can stay in the basement!" Ben said.  
  
"WHAT?! NOOO! YOU CANNOT PUT MY MAN IN THE COLD, DARK BASEMENT!!!" Tippy shrieked.  
  
"Okay! Okay!" Peter yelled. "Geez. We'll have to move some people in the basement."  
  
Tracy circled something in the magazine and stood up. "All right then...we'll have to summon forth..."  
  
The lights dimmed and drums started playing.  
  
"The tribal council," she finished.  
  
The guys all gave her strange looks.  
  
"Here's how it works," she said. "You vote off what people you want out of the privilage of having a room. The two people with the most votes win...er...lose."  
  
The music continued playing as the house members wrote down the names. First, Peter approached the camera...err, your computer screen.  
  
"I vote for Tippy," he whispered. "Because she scares me. AND I WANT KILL HER!!!"  
  
He regained his composure and said, "Thank you."  
  
Peter sat back down, and then Kitt approached the camera.  
  
"I vote for Daj," she declared. "Because he's a FOON!!!"  
  
Kitt sat down and then the last person to share their vote, Gimli, came forward. "I vote for myself. I want OUT of our room. I am tired of sleeping under that *censored* Boromir's bed!"  
  
"Hey!" Stephanie's voice from nowhere shouted. "I shall massacre you!"  
  
Frightened, Gimli ran back to his seat. Tracy came up to the camera.  
  
"Who's everybody whispering to?" she whispered. She shrugged and said, "The votes have been collected, and Orlando will keep track on Brittney's chalkboard."  
  
"Okaaay...first vote," Tracy said, pulling out a piece of paper from Merry's helmet. She paused. "...Starburst?"  
  
"It's on the back, genius!" Bryan yelled.  
  
She turned the paper around. "Oh! Tippy."  
  
"WHAT?!" Tippy shouted. "This is an outrage!"  
  
"Tippy! Sit!" Brittney scolded.  
  
After a while, the two people with the most votes were Gimli annnnddd....Tippy?  
  
"WHAT?!" Tippy shrieked again while Gimli inwardly rejoiced.  
  
Tippy embraced Faramir again. "Faramir! Tell them to let me stay."  
  
"Oh you can throw her in the basement!" Faramir grinned.  
  
"What?!" Tippy screamed a third time. "Tracy! Stop writing evil talk!"  
  
IMortalI  
  
"Excuse me?!" Tippy yelled.  
  
IYou weak minded fool. You have yet to endure the wrath of Caroline Jordan!I  
  
"Caroline Jordan?!" she shouted. "You're so immature!"  
  
IDo you WANT me to kill you off?I  
  
Clinging onto Faramir again, she said, "No."  
  
IThen shut up!I  
  
Anyway, after Tippy was done arguing with the brilliant author, she fell to her knees and sobbed for her lost love.  
  
"What did you say about Eowyn and Aragorn, again?" Faramir asked.  
  
Peter and Bryan grinned.  
  
"Well, Faramir, it's a funny story, really," Bryan said.  
  
"Yeah," Peter smiled. "You see, she wasn't quite over Aragorn to begin with, you know? And anyway-"  
  
Peter was cut off as he and Bryan were dragged off by Eowyn and Tippy (who would jump at the opportunity to bash a male) and locked into a closet.  
  
(Short again. *sob* Forgive me. Next Chapter: Something In The Basement Is Screeching...o_O Keep voting for your favorite kid!) 


	9. Something In The Basement Is Screeching

Chapter 9- Something In The Basement Is Screeching  
  
Favorite Votes:  
  
Ashley- 1  
  
Ben- 8 (Leader)  
  
Brittney- 2  
  
Bryan- 3  
  
Dajotre- 3  
  
Kitt- 2  
  
Lisa- 2 1/2  
  
Peter- 2 1/2  
  
Tippy- 4  
  
Theresa- 1  
  
Tracy- 3 1/2 (Yes!)  
  
Rachel13: BWA HA HA!!! YOUR BRIBERY IS WORTHLESS, MORTAL!!! But allow me to count your vote. ^ ^  
  
M4ng0: I'm sorry, but you remind me of someone. Do I know you? e_e; ....Okay then. Anyways, Ashley and Theresa will be happy that they have a vote. Thank you!  
  
LaRry: Hullo Larry! I hope to make a sequel as soon as this one's done. I'm only gonna count your Bryan vote. Thank yous!  
  
Sobbing uncontrollably at losing her sweet Faramir *cough*, Tippy walked into the basement where Gimli had already collapsed on his cot. Tippy threw down her things, including her Faramir pictures so she didn't forget what he looks like in this LONG TIME, and stormed over to him.  
  
"Get this straight, Dwarf!" she yelled. "I hate you! I hate everything except Faramir! But I ESPECIALLY hate Daj and Peter! So you stay on your side of the basement and I'll stay on mine! Got it?!"  
  
"Yes ma'am," Gimli said meekly.  
  
"Good!" Tippy snapped.  
  
She laid back on her cot with her Faramir picture and turned off the lights.  
  
.......................  
  
"Tippy?" Gimli asked.  
  
"What?" she said in a monotone.  
  
"Did you hear something?"  
  
"Yeah. You. Now go to sleep."  
  
....................................................  
  
"Tippy?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Did you hear THAT?"  
  
"No. What did you hear?"  
  
"It sounded like something growled."  
  
"It's probably Bryan's stomach, and yes, you can hear it from all the way upstairs. Now go to SLEEP!!!"  
  
...............................................................  
  
"Tippy?"  
  
"WHAT?!!!!"  
  
"What's your real name?"  
  
"Grr....Tippy Canoe! Now go to sleep!"  
  
.............................................................................................................  
  
"Gimli?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Something in the basement is screeching..."  
  
"You heard that too?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Tippy grabbed her flashlight and crawled out of bed. "Let's go, Gimli."  
  
The two cautiously walked in the cold, dark basement, the flashlight sending a little light from place to place.  
  
"Tippy?" Gimli asked.  
  
"What?" she whispered.  
  
"Who's house is this?" he whispered back.  
  
Tippy froze and gave a confused look. She opened her mouth as if to say something twice, but then said, "I don't know..."  
  
She shrugged and kept looking. Suddenly, something darted past their feet.  
  
"What was that?!" Gimli exclaimed.  
  
"Aww!" Tippy grinned. "Little Dwarf afraid of the dark."  
  
Gimli glared at her. "I'm not afraid. I'm just...concerned."  
  
"Suurrree," Tippy replied. "Let's keep looking."  
  
Tippy kept searching when something leapt out at them. The light fell on "it" and it screeched loudly. Tippy and Gimli screamed, Gimli suspiciously sounding like a girl.  
  
"Wait!" Tippy stopped him. "....Gollum?"  
  
"Don't kills ussss!" Gollum wailed. "Nooo!!!"  
  
Hearing, their screams, Legolas, Dajotre and Ben ran downstairs.  
  
"Back off!" Ben yelled. "I got a sword and I don't know how to use it!"  
  
"Gollum?" Daj said.  
  
"I thought he was dead!" Gimli exclaimed.  
  
Using some rope from the basement, Ben dragged a wailing Gollum upstairs and into the living room. Of course, this woke up the entire house and they all came to see what was going on.  
  
"It's Gollum!" Ashley exclaimed.  
  
"Awww! Isn't he cute, Merry?" Brittney grinned. "Let's buy him a present!"  
  
Gollum was shrieking and writhing on the floor in agony as she said this.  
  
"I'll go call animal control," Theresa said.  
  
Shortly after Theresa called them, there was a knock on the door. Orlando answered and the two officers came in.  
  
"Here he is," Daj said, handing one the rope.  
  
"What is this thing?!" they asked.  
  
"That would be a 'gollum', sir," Lisa answered.  
  
"What's a gollum?" the other asked.  
  
"Gandalf," Lisa said, gesturing to the wizard.  
  
Gandalf sat back on his rocking chair and lit a pipe. Bryan took out an acoustic guitar (Bryan can play guitar?!) and Gandalf said like an old cowboy, "I'm about ta tell ya The Legend of Gollum."  
  
"Cool!" the others chorused.  
  
(A/N: If you've ever heard the song "The Legend of Sailcat" from that old show Cow and Chicken, you'll know what I'm talking about. There's a Cartoon Network soundtrack with the song if you're interested.)  
  
Bryan started strumming on his guitar and Gandalf half sang and half spoke the story.  
  
"There's danger out in the mountain roads  
  
It's paved with squirrels and flattened toads  
  
And wizards driving carts so big  
  
They could flatten a cow."  
  
"Or a horse!" Ashley added.  
  
"Or a manatee!" Ben shouted.  
  
~Pause~  
  
"And those who brave the Ring  
  
Are a lucky few  
  
But there's one Hobbit that fell through  
  
And I'm about to tell the tale to you  
  
Of GOLLUM!"  
  
"Gollum?" one animal control officer asked.  
  
"Gollum!!!" the others chorused.  
  
"He was looking for fish and other things  
  
When strange radiation from the Ring  
  
Turned him into a gollum-thing  
  
And Bilbo took his preciousss Ring  
  
"He wasn't down  
  
But his heart was squished  
  
In the mountains he stood  
  
Shaking his fist  
  
And some Orcs took him  
  
And tied up his wrists  
  
And that was the birth....  
  
Of GOLLUM!!!"  
  
"Gollum!" the others sang off key. "Gollum!"  
  
"He ran after Frodo  
  
And Sam too  
  
And then attacked him  
  
They knew what to do  
  
Frodo was down  
  
But Sam wasn't done  
  
And they defended each other  
  
Like Robin Hood and Little John  
  
"'Frodo! Frodo!  
  
Watch your back! Be afraid!  
  
For there is a gollum  
  
Who's really insane!'  
  
So the feared and revered  
  
Reputation was made  
  
Of GOLLUM!!!"  
  
"Gollum!" they all sang again. "Gollum!"  
  
"He's been know to eat fish  
  
And be tortured by the Ring  
  
While Frodo and Sam  
  
Were stabbed by everything  
  
And when Rosie was having trouble  
  
With Thanksgiving plans  
  
He has even dropped by  
  
To open some cans."  
  
"You're in the stretching-of-the-truth section now, aren't you?" Ashley asked.  
  
Gandalf shrugged and continued:  
  
"And when someone's depressed  
  
Or has a bad day  
  
He unerringly know  
  
The right things to say."  
  
"Don't be depressssed, Gimli," Gollum said. "People love you BECAUSSSSE you're short and fat and ugly. GO with it!"  
  
"Then he'll ask for the preciousss  
  
And be on his way  
  
He's Gollum!"  
  
"Gollum!" they all sang finally.  
  
Bryan put away the guitar and Lisa said, "And that, my friends, is the story of Gollum."  
  
"Ah! So that's what a gollum is!" the other animal control officer said.  
  
"Yes sir," Gandalf said, smoking his pipe. "Yes it is."  
  
So the two animal control officers dragged Gollum out the door and threw him into the back of the truck. The others watched him go, slightly sad.  
  
"You know what?" Ben said.  
  
"What?" Pippin asked.  
  
"I'm gonna miss him," Ben replied. "He really wasn't that bad."  
  
"Yeah I know," Pippin sighed.  
  
"Hey Pippin! Ben!" Theresa's voice called from inside. "Come get your pie before we eat it all!"  
  
Ben and Pippin looked at each other.  
  
"Ah forget him!" Ben exclaimed.  
  
They both ran inside for their delicious pie.  
  
(Keep on voting for your favorite. Oh! And don't forget about Theresa! Next Chapter: Truth or Dare *Oh yeah!* What I need from you is some good truths and dares. Thank you!) 


	10. Truth or Dare?

Chapter 10- Truth or Dare  
  
TangerineDash: Next chapter, Tip. Just wait... I think I did a fairly good jorb at the Legend of Sailcat.  
  
Rachel13: I'm sorry. I know how rejection feels. *sobs* Anyway, go ahead and vote for Ben. Everybody else does. lol  
  
jessalae: Seven minutes in heaven....that sounds interesting. Oh, and Merry didn't ask Brittney to marry him. No one else really needs to know that, however. :-D  
  
chipmunk2041: I can only give them one points, but thanks for your enthusiasm. HAH! That Faramir one is GREAT!!! Thank you for your encouragement!  
  
Favorite Votes:  
  
Ashley- 2  
  
Ben- 9 (Leader)  
  
Brittney- 2  
  
Bryan- 3  
  
Dajotre- 4  
  
Kitt- 2  
  
Lisa- 2 1/2  
  
Peter- 2 1/2  
  
Tippy- 6  
  
Theresa- 1  
  
Tracy- 3 1/2 (Yes!)  
  
After Gollum had gone with the animal control, the kids all sat in the living room. Curious as to what was going on, Merry and Pippin came in.  
  
"Okaaay Tippy!" Kitt declared. "Truth or dare?"  
  
Tippy paused for a moment, an evil grin on her face. "Dare! Ha! I win!"  
  
"Okay," Kitt said. "I dare you to...skip your turn! BWA HA HA!!!"  
  
"That's so lame, Kitt," Tippy grumbled.  
  
Merry and Pippin looked at each other, confused.  
  
"What are you doing?" Pippin asked.  
  
"Playing Truth or Dare," Ashley replied.  
  
They looked at each other again.  
  
"What?" Merry asked.  
  
"You guys don't know about this either?!" Bryan yelled. "You are SO deprived!"  
  
The kids brought all the Lord of the Rings characters into the living room and explained the rules.  
  
"To play Truth or Dare you need two or more people," Theresa explained. "The more the better. First, you ask someone, 'Truth or Dare?' If truth, they have to answer any question truthfully. If dare, they have to do whatever you tell them to do."  
  
"Got it?" Lisa asked.  
  
The others nodded, unsure.  
  
"Okay then, Dajotre, you start," Tracy said.  
  
Dajotre grinned evilly and said, "Tippy! Truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare!" Tippy exclaimed. "I shall survive!"  
  
"All right then," Dajotre grinned. "I dare you to say, 'Dajotre is the ruler of the universe. He is so much better than me, and I am ashamed to think that I could outbest him. All hail the great Dajotre!'"  
  
"WHAT?!" Tippy shrieked.  
  
The kids laughed hystarically.  
  
"Go on, Tip," Tracy laughed. "You HAVE to do it!"  
  
Tippy glared and mumbled it under her breath.  
  
"C'mon!" Daj said. "Say it like you mean it!"  
  
Tippy sighed. "Dajotre is the ruler of the universe. He is so much better than me, and..."  
  
"Say it ALL!" Dajotre yelled.  
  
"And I am ashamed to think that I could outbest him...All hail the great Dajotre!" Tippy finished reluctantly.  
  
"See Tippy?" he grinned. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"  
  
"Yes it was," she grumbled. "Okay...Frodo! Truth or dare?"  
  
Frodo froze and said, "Ummmmm...."  
  
"It's not like it's a life changing decision or anything," Peter said.  
  
  
  
"Quiet! Or YOU'RE next!" Tippy snapped.  
  
"Uhh...dare...I guess," Frodo replied.  
  
Tippy smiled. "Okay then. For the sake of Ashley, I dare you to kiss her!"  
  
They all laughed this time.  
  
"That's so juvenile, Tippy," Kitt rolled her eyes. "But I LOVE IT!!!"  
  
Ashley, shocked, had passed out.  
  
"Make that CPR," Tippy added.  
  
Frodo raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Please tell me you know how to revive someone," Tippy begged, beginning to think how ignorant they were.  
  
"Oh," Frodo said.  
  
Much to Ashley's joy, she woke up to Frodo...ehm...kissing her. She jumped up.  
  
"I can die content!!!" she shouted.  
  
"Your turn, Frodo," Merry said.  
  
"All right, Merry," he grinned. "Truth or dare?"  
  
Merry thought for a moment. "Dare. What could you possibly come up with?"  
  
Dajotre ran over and whispered something to Frodo. As he spoke, Frodo's mouth curled into an evil grin.  
  
"Merry, I dare you to drink a gallon Vodka and hold it in!!!" Frodo exclaimed.  
  
Merry's mouth dropped open.  
  
"Wait a second!" Aragorn stopped everyone's hystarical laughter. "Where are we going to get Vodka?"  
  
All eyes turned to Bryan who at that time was pouring himself a glass. He looked up innocently and slowly set the jug and cup down.  
  
He cleared his throat. "Uhh, sorry."  
  
Pippin picked up the jug and handed it to Merry. "Here you are, Merry!"  
  
"No! Wait!" Bryan shouted, distraught at losing his last bottle of Vodka. "It's umm....only a half gallon."  
  
"Good enough!" Pippin exclaimed.  
  
"Wait!" Brittney yelled. "If you're gonna make my husband drink, go in the kitchen so none of it ends up on the carpet, if ya know what I mean."  
  
Pippin dragged Merry off and in two minutes, he came dragging him back.  
  
"He drank it all in one breath," Pippin said, astonished.  
  
Merry collapsed on the floor and Brittney rushed to his side.  
  
"I think he learned his lesson," Brittney mumbled.  
  
"I'll choose for him," Pippin said. "Tracy! Truth or dare?"  
  
"Truth!" Tracy answered immediately.  
  
Pippin thought for a while. "Ummm....I'm not sure....okay! I got it!...No I don't...."  
  
The others groaned.  
  
"C'mon Pippin!" everyone sighed.  
  
"Okay! Okay!" Pippin yelled. "Let's see....what is your darkest secret?"  
  
"Ooh! Original!" Lisa said sarcastically.  
  
"Answer it," Pippin told Tracy, ignoring Lisa.  
  
"My darkest secret," Tracy began, "is that I have no secret!"  
  
"I can answer it for her," Tippy grinned.  
  
"NO!!! Nooooo!" Tracy shouted. "Okay! I'll tell you! My darkest secret is that...I love Elrond!"  
  
Needless to say, Legolas and Aragorn screamed and the others started laughing.  
  
"Gasp, Tracy!" Kitt laughed.  
  
Tracy narrowed her eyes. "Well now you know. Elrond is awesome!"  
  
"So the quiz was right," Ben grinned.  
  
"Well not to the extent of obsession but...yeah," Tracy murmured.  
  
"That. Is. Hilarious!" Peter laughed.  
  
Tracy glared at him. "All right, Peter! Truth or dare?"  
  
Peter glared back and said, "Hmmm...dare!"  
  
Tracy smiled evilly. "I dare you to be Daj's personal slave for three days!" (You're welcome, Daj.)  
  
"That's an outrage!" Peter exclaimed. "Demon woman!"  
  
"It was HIS idea!" Tracy replied.  
  
Dajotre sat and whistled innocently. "Noooo. But you can start now by getting me a Mountain Dew!"  
  
Peter groaned and got up to get the can of soda. He came back and handed it to Daj. Dajotre just looked at him.  
  
"What?!" Peter asked. "Is it the wrong temperature or something?"  
  
"I'm just thinking what you would look like in a butler's tuxedo or something," Dajotre grinned.  
  
"WHAT?!" Peter screamed.  
  
Tippy laughed so hard that she fell off the couch and landed on an unfortunate Sam.  
  
"Where are you going to get a tuxedo?" Peter asked.  
  
Ben threw one at him out of nowhere. "I've been looking for someone to give that to."  
  
Peter looked at the outfit. "Where on Earth did you get this?"  
  
"Not on Earth!" Ben corrected. "Mars."  
  
Peter blinked and sighed. "I'll consider it. Riiiight. Anyway, Daj! Truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare!" Dajotre said. "I am no coward!"  
  
Peter laughed a little. "I dare you to...say to Tippy, 'Tippy I'm sorry for being such a jerk. You're not a rat like I called you in the 2nd grade, and you really aren't so bad. I actually like being friends with you.'"  
  
"What?!" Tippy and Daj both said.  
  
"Say it!" Peter grinned. "Search your feelings. You KNOW it to be true!"  
  
"NOOOOOO!!!" Dajotre screeched.  
  
As soon as he had regained his composure, he said, in a monotone of course, "Tippy I'm sorry for being such a jerk. You're not a rat like I called you in the 2nd grade, and..."  
  
Peter cleared his throat and Daj continued, "And you really aren't so bad..................I actually....like.....being friends.....with you."  
  
"Awww!" all the girls said. "That's so sweet!"  
  
"Actually, I found it revolting," Tippy grumbled.  
  
"Hey! Try having to SAY it!" Dajotre snapped. "Aragorn! Truth or dare? Oh, I'm sorry."  
  
He bowed. "KING Elessar!"  
  
Aragorn and Lisa glared at Dajotre, hatefully.  
  
"Truth," Aragorn said. "That sounds safe."  
  
The junior high guys snickered.  
  
"Okay, Estelle or...whatever," Daj grinned. "Tell us all what you think about...LISA!!!"  
  
The others gasped.  
  
"The truth comes out," Tracy said, mysteriously.  
  
Aragorn's eyes shifted from Arwen to Lisa. "The truth is...I love you, Lisa! I hate Arwen! It's just an act, you see, and-"  
  
*The person responsible for the last lines has been sacked. And now for what Aragorn REALLY said.*  
  
"Lisa..." Aragorn began. "It'll never work out between us. I'm sorry."  
  
"What?!" Lisa sobbed.  
  
NO ARAGORN DIDN'T SAY THAT!!!  
  
duifh;giohsdaiopgnspidonhknhpk'adfophdnov  
  
Lisa! Quit typing stuff!!!  
  
ggsdgoi 34q w 0y6`] klnbdsg :Hsdfh;sDGJLHv iasfjhsdg;h fhojhfsd  
  
"Lisa! I love  
  
hsdhgjhn o;ihoasfdioghreadrery erahioeihowehiosadgoihsgdhioegsaiohgshioeghiweguewgiowehwegohio ioeshtiohtioh  
  
Stop it Lisa!  
  
And then Aragorn said to Arwen, "I don't  
  
bjsdhghasihopjpooqwoiheqgoihwgehiosegopsdgpouudsgihdsgiogeg  
  
*Gunshot*  
  
Well now that Lisa won't be bothering us anymore, Aragorn said, "You're a really nice person and everything, but you're....."  
  
"Obsessed?" Ashley suggested.  
  
"Yes," Aragorn nodded. "That's right."  
  
Lisa gave the sad, pathetic look.  
  
"Oh no," Aragorn murmured. "Not the look."  
  
"Is that how you get all A's, Lisa?" Bryan asked.  
  
Lisa whacked him across the head and then went back to the innocent face.  
  
"All right!" Aragorn sighed. "You're really nice and you'll live happily ever after with some lucky guy!"  
  
"Awwwww!" the others said.  
  
"That's so sweet, Aragorn," Lisa grinned. "I love you!"  
  
"We know," everyone else chorused.  
  
"Your turn, Aragorn," Ben said.  
  
"No! I'm not done listening to all the wonderful things Aragorn has to say!" Lisa protested.  
  
"Lisa!!!" everyone yelled.  
  
"Hmph. Fine," Lisa grumbled.  
  
She sat back and pulled out her Anne McCaffery book.  
  
"Legolas!" Aragorn smiled. "Truth or dare?"  
  
Legolas glared at Aragorn. "Hmmm...well I'm not a coward like SOME people so dare!"  
  
He glared back at Legolas and said, "I dare you to explain exactly what you meant about 'waiting for the right time.'"  
  
Gimli and Boromir started laughing again, this time joined by Pippin and a now conscious Merry. The junior high guys had already fallen to hystarical laughter.  
  
Legolas gave the I-am-so-going-to-kill-you look to Aragorn. "You're cruel."  
  
"But fair," Aragorn laughed.  
  
"......No," Legolas answered flatly.  
  
"Go on, Legolas," he said.  
  
Legolas sighed and looked over at Tracy who was about ready to kill Bryan...as usual.  
  
"Tracy..." Legolas sighed again.  
  
"Yes!" Tracy switched her focus immediately.  
  
"I don't know what I meant about waiting for the right time," Legolas told her. "I said that, I guess, so you wouldn't get hurt."  
  
She broke down crying and the girls rushed to comfort her.  
  
"I'm sorry!" he said quickly.  
  
"Sorry?!" Tracy sobbed. "That. Was. The. SWEETEST thing anyone has ever said to me! You didn't want me to get hurt!"  
  
"Yes..." Legolas answered, confused.  
  
"You didn't want me to get hurt! Don't you see?" she said. "You cared so much about me that you were willing to lie so that I wouldn't be sad!"  
  
The junior high guys had stopped laughing, and were as puzzled as Satan when it started snowing in his house.  
  
"But he lied," Peter reminded her.  
  
"But he did it with love!" Tracy sighed.  
  
The guys looked at each other.  
  
"I am NEVER going to understand women," Peter shook his head.  
  
(That was fun! Next chapter: Truth or Dare Part Two! Isn't that an original title?! I'm sorry. Did some of my sarcasm drip on you?) 


	11. Truth or Dare? Part Two

Chapter 11- Truth or Dare Part Two  
  
After the laughter had died down from the last dare, Legolas chose his victim...  
  
"Arwen!" he declared. "Truth or dare?"  
  
"Ummm...truth, I guess," she shrugged.  
  
"All right, then," Legolas grinned. "Ben, Bryan, Peter or Dajotre. Which one do you like the most?"  
  
The others laughed evilly while the four guys sat on the edge of their seats.  
  
"Well...uhhh....what are the consequences of my actions?" she asked.  
  
"It depends on who you choose," Legolas answered.  
  
"Good point," Arwen nodded. "All right. In all honest truth...Bryan, I guess."  
  
"WHAT?!" the others screamed.  
  
"YES!!!" Bryan rejoiced. "I WIN!!! I LOVE YOU ARWEN!!!"  
  
"I did not say I liked you to that extent," Arwen reminded.  
  
Bryan sat back down from his victory dance. "...Oh."  
  
"But anyway, truth or dare, Bryan?" Arwen asked.  
  
"Dare!" Bryan said. "You're still a girl. What could you possibly come up with?"  
  
A FEW MINUTES LATER...  
  
"And that, girls, is how you give a guy a makeover," Arwen smiled proudly.  
  
Ben, Peter and Dajotre were lying on the floor, unconscious from laughing. Bryan was tied to a chair, his hair in little butterfly clips and his fingernails painted bright pink and orange. His eyes were poorly outlined in black eyeliner.  
  
"Well done, Arwen," Kitt grinned.  
  
Arwen dusted off her hands as Bryan clawed at his nails, trying to pull the nailpolish off.  
  
"All right then, Bryan," Arwen smiled. "Your turn."  
  
"Ben!" Bryan said, trying to rub off the eyeliner. "Truth or dare?"  
  
"Truth," Ben replied. "I'm too lazy to get up for a dare."  
  
"I know," Bryan answered, now trying to rub the eyeliner that got on his hands off. "Okay. Eowyn or Arwen?"  
  
Ben laughed again. "Definitely Arwen! Look how pretty she made you!"  
  
Bryan glared and clawed at his nails again.  
  
"Anyway," Ben said. "Faramir! Truth or dare?"  
  
"Truth," Faramir said.  
  
"Are you jealous of Boromir?" Ben grinned. *Thank you chipmunk2041!*  
  
"Ooooh," the others said.  
  
"The truth shall be revealed," Kitt declared.  
  
Boromir and Faramir looked at each other.  
  
  
  
Faramir sighed heavily. "Boromir...you should be dead. But since you are....alive...I guess, I am still jealous of you."  
  
Boromir nodded. "It's okay, brother."  
  
"FARAMIR'S DAD HATES HIM!!!" Tippy sobbed.  
  
"Calm yourself, Tip," Brittney sighed.  
  
"Eowyn," Faramir said. "Truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare," she replied.  
  
"I dare you to pick out a personal servant for us," he grinned.  
  
Tippy waved her hands in the air frantically. "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"  
  
"Except her," Faramir added.  
  
"Awww, why Faramir?" Eowyn smiled. "She's adorable!"  
  
Tippy put on her most innocent smile and said, "I'd be happy to serve you, my lord and lady!"  
  
"All right!" Faramir sighed. "We'll take her."  
  
Tippy cheered and immediately grabbed a palm branch from nowhere and fanned the couple.  
  
  
  
FIVE MINUTES LATER...  
  
"You know what, Eowyn?" Faramir grinned. "I think you made a good choice!"  
  
The couple was sitting on lawn chairs with their feet up, sipping non-alcoholic margaritas as Tippy fanned them.  
  
"All right then, Boromir" Eowyn smiled. "Truth or dare?"  
  
"Truth," Boromir answered.  
  
She thought for a moment, and then said, "How are you alive?"  
  
Boromir sighed, "All right, here it comes. First of all, I have to say DON'T YOU IDIOTS TAKE A PULSE?!!!"  
  
Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli's eyes shifted nervously.  
  
"So I woke up with a splitting headache and three holes in my chest," Boromir said. "When all of the sudden, some girl grabbed the boat and tipped it over. I stood up and she grabbed me by the arm and threw me in some moving metal transportation."  
  
"It's called a car, mortal," Tracy snapped.  
  
"Fine. A car. Whatever," he said. "Anyway, I asked her who she was and she said, 'My name is Stephanie. And I love you.' Suddenly, another car came over and she got out. I could hear them yelling at each other. Then, the other person jumped into the car and drove to a house. This house. She got out and walked in and then I followed after a while. That's when I saw Aragorn and then everybody else inside."  
  
"Who was the other girl?" Faramir asked.  
  
Tracy whistled innocently. "I have no idea! Boromir! Pick someone!"  
  
  
  
"Sam!" Boromir said. "Truth or dare?"  
  
"Truth," Sam answered.  
  
"Okay..." Boromir began. "Have you ever told a lie?"  
  
"Hasn't everyone?" Theresa asked.  
  
"Not I !" said the Kitt. *Yes THE Kitt.*  
  
"I said that I was happy that Merry and Brittney were getting married," Sam said reluctantly.  
  
  
  
Brittney gasped and Merry gave him a strange look.  
  
"But it has changed you, Merry," Sam told him. "Really. You actually drank Vodka in two minutes. You and I both know you can do one!"  
  
Merry nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry."  
  
"So...I lied then," Sam added. "But you have also been very happy lately."  
  
He nodded again. "I have, haven't I?....I love you, Brittney!"  
  
"I love you too, Merry!" Brittney grinned.  
  
"Truth or dare, Brittney?" Sam asked.  
  
"Truth," Brittney answered.  
  
He paused for a second, and then asked, "Did Merry really propose to you?"  
  
Merry and Brittney looked at each other nervously.  
  
"...........No," Brittney said after a while.  
  
The others except Merry gasped.  
  
  
  
"Why did you lie?!" Theresa asked.  
  
Brittney started to fake cry, although everyone else believed it. "I don't know! I just wanted us to be happy! But you're not, are you Merry?"  
  
"Of course I am!" he said. "Weren't you listening? I love you!"  
  
She looked up, and hugged her husband. *Why can't anyone love me?! (sob)* *Dude, YOU'RE the author.* *Oh...right.*  
  
"Merry! I'm sorry!" Brittney cried. "But let's forget about that and tell everyone that you proposed."  
  
"Kay," Merry agreed.  
  
"Now he's talking like her," Sam whispered to Frodo.  
  
"Tell me about it," Frodo murmured.  
  
"Theresa! Truth or dare?" Brittney said, drying her fake tears.  
  
"Dare!" she exclaimed. "For I am no coward!"  
  
"I dare you to...make us all brownies because I. Am. Starving!" Brittney dared her.  
  
~Silence~  
  
"What kind of randomness was that?" Tracy asked.  
  
"The Brittney kind," Lisa replied, nodding sadly.  
  
Theresa shrugged and walked into the kitchen to make brownies. "Whatever you say...for the record, Ashley! Truth or dare!"  
  
"Dare!" she smiled. "Maybe I'll get to kiss Frodo again."  
  
"Ah! Go ahead!" Theresa shrugged again.  
  
"YES!!!" she exclaimed.  
  
After she had kissed Frodo for about a minute, (Peter had received orders from Daj to separate them.) she said, "Gimli! Truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare!" Gimli bravely said.  
  
A MINUTE LATER...  
  
"I can't believe you just gave Gimli an manicure," Theresa said, passing out brownies.  
  
"He needed one," Ashley said, filing Gimli's right hand. "BELIEVE me! Well, Gimli, while I'm finishing, I guess Gandalf's the last one."  
  
"Truth or dare, Gandalf?" he asked.  
  
"Dare," Gandalf replied. "Hopefully, it won't have to do with getting a...uhh....what's it called?"  
  
"Makeover?" Tippy suggested.  
  
"Yes," Gandalf nodded.  
  
"Dare him to wear a dress!" Dajotre exclaimed. "Oh wait...he's already wearing one!"  
  
Peter high fived Daj and they both broke into hystarical laughter. "What a girl!"  
  
Gandalf drew himself up to his full height. The two screamed higher than the girls as Gandalf locked them in the closet.  
  
"What were you going to say?" Gandalf asked.  
  
"Uhh...n-never mind," Gimli replied. "I'm too afraid."  
  
(Next Chapter: Just Whistle While You Work.) 


	12. Just Whistle While You Work

Chapter 12- Just Whistle While You Work  
  
BE HAPPY PETER! YOU GET A CHAPTER ALL ABOUT YOU!  
  
Daj teh Great: Thank you...I think.  
  
Rachel13: I'm sorry. Legolas is busy cleaning MY room! lol  
  
Kitty Tigri, The TMCT: If I could, I would count all those votes! lol  
  
THECheeseTurkey: I'd love to be in your story! *feels special* I'm glad you love it so much!  
  
Tangerine Dash: Lisa would attack me like that too. e_e; lol  
  
Daj.:Riiiight.  
  
Lalaithiel Noleambar: lol I didn't steal him! I was...borrowing him.  
  
butterflyer: It was even more fun writing it!  
  
Favorite Votes:  
  
Ashley- 2  
  
Ben- 9 (Leader)  
  
Brittney- 2  
  
Bryan- 3  
  
Dajotre- 4  
  
Kitt- 2  
  
Lisa- 2 1/2  
  
Peter- 2 1/2  
  
Tippy- 6  
  
Theresa- 1  
  
Tracy- 6 1/2 (Yes!)  
  
Peter's alarm clock went off.  
  
"It's 8:30 A.M," it said. "Do you know where Peter is?"  
  
"What the?" Peter said, throwing the alarm clock out the window.  
  
He ran over to the window to see how far it went. "Man! That got some distance!"  
  
As he looked down, he saw Tippy skipping up the steps with the mail in her hands.  
  
"Isn't that Faramir's job?" Peter said to himself.  
  
He shrugged and turned in time to hear from nowhere, "PETER!!! THIS IS YOUR WAKE-UP CALL!!! THE MATRIX HAS YOU!!!"  
  
"What?" Peter asked, checking to make sure he still had his hearing capabilities.  
  
The voice from nowhere sighed, "Would you just get downstairs and serve your master?"  
  
Peter looked up at the ceiling to see a newly installed intercom. "Uhh...whatever."  
  
In five minutes, Dajotre had Peter working like he was serving the Queen of England...err the King. Peter was forced to wear the tuxedo Ben had, and he was serving Dajotre French toast and orange juice on a silver tray.  
  
"Here you go, your Majesty!" Peter grumbled and stormed away.  
  
"Hey-hey-hey!" Dajotre stopped him. "You have not been dismissed."  
  
Peter groaned and came back. "Forgive me, Sir. Am I dismissed?"  
  
"No," Dajotre replied. "I might need you in a few minutes. Until then, you can just stand there."  
  
Peter glared at him and then glared over at Tracy. She was sitting in a chair, her Orlando Bloom and Billy Boyd picture album in front of her. She looked up.  
  
"What?" she asked. "WHAT?!"  
  
"Oh nothing," Peter said sarcastically.  
  
"Good," she said. "I thought you were mad at me."  
  
He continued to glare at her. She looked up again.  
  
"What do you want?!" she yelled. "A reward for looking so dashing *cough* in that tuxedo or something?"  
  
"Does 'I dare you to be Daj's personal slave for three days' ring a bell?!" he shouted.  
  
"I told you!" Tracy yelled back. "It was all HIS idea!"  
  
"Hey!" Daj interrupted. "Did I TELL you that you could argue with her?"  
  
"...No," Peter sighed.  
  
  
  
Dajotre shrugged. "Go ahead anyway."  
  
"And another thing!" Peter screamed at her. "I am TIRED of those stupid forwards you send me!"  
  
"I tired of you not writing back to me!!!" she screamed back. "And anyone else for that matter! And I'm SICK of you taking my video camera ideas!"  
  
"And I'm sick of you mocking me in this...this...poor excuse for literature!!!" Peter shouted.  
  
Tracy gasped. "Did you...you think that..."  
  
She ran off, fake crying. (Those lessons from Brittney were paying off!) Just then, Tippy hopped into the room. Eowyn and Faramir were relaxing themselves, and Tippy came in with a palm branch.  
  
"Here you are, my lord and lady!" she grinned, fanning them.  
  
"Thank you, Tippy," Eowyn smiled. "See Faramir? She's really sweet and actually willing to be a servant."  
  
"You gotta look hard to find those," Tippy added with a grin.  
  
Faramir nodded. "You're right, dear."  
  
"He called me 'dear'!" Tippy shouted.  
  
"I believe that was directed at Eowyn," Dajotre clarified.  
  
Tippy glared at him. "Whatever."  
  
Peter sighed and got back to work, standing there and waiting for Daj to tell him to do something.  
  
"I hate my life!" he whined.  
  
"Don't be so depressed!" Tippy said. "Be happy you can serve someone! You know how the song goes, right?"  
  
"What song?" Peter asked.  
  
Tippy grinned and started to skip around Peter, singing, "Just whistle while you work. Doo Dee Doo Doo Doo Doo DOO. La La La La..."  
  
Peter, not being able to take a second more of this stupidity, grabbed the tray and whacked Tippy on the head with it. She continued to skip around him, unaffected.  
  
"Just hum a merry tune!" she continued. "Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmmmm..."  
  
"I QUIT!" Peter screamed.  
  
"You can't quit," Dajotre reminded him. "It's a dare. Now, go fetcheth me some water."  
  
Peter, grumbling, stormed into the kitchen. "Why did I have to come? I mean, come on! It was a letter from Tracy! She's always out to ruin someone's life!"  
  
Just as he was coming into the kitchen, he saw Ben and Bryan with Mountain Dew in their hands.  
  
"Hey Peter!" Ben grinned. "Want some caffeine?"  
  
"I can't," Peter sighed, pouring some water into a cup.  
  
The two gasped. "Why not?!"  
  
"Because my MASTER did not order me to," Peter snapped.  
  
He stormed out of the kitchen, leaving Ben and Bryan confused and horrified.  
  
"That is the saddest thing I've ever seen," Bryan said.  
  
"I know," Ben sobbed. "He's so brave!"  
  
The two started to cry, then abruptly stopped, continuing to drink the Dew.  
  
That evening, Peter and Tippy were ordered to wash dishes while the others watched "Who's Line is it Anyway?"  
  
"There's nothing else I'd rather be doing than this," Peter grumbled, putting away another plate. "Oh wait...yes there is."  
  
"You look like you need a HUG!" Tippy grinned. (Her ecstatic state had turned her more insane than usual.)  
  
"BACK DEMON WOMAN!" Peter shrieked.  
  
Tracy came running in. Peter was holding a pan above his head, ready to strike Tippy on the head.  
  
"What do you call this?" Tracy asked.  
  
"I call it insane beyond all reason," Tippy replied.  
  
Tracy took the pan from Peter's grasp and set in the cabinet. "Listen. I understand this is difficult for you, work and what not."  
  
Peter nodded sadly.  
  
"But if you hold out one more day, you'll be fine," she added.  
  
"I still can't believe-" Peter began.  
  
"IT IS ALL HIS IDEA!" Tracy interrupted. "Do I need to say it in Elvish? Ta naa ilya ho intya!"  
  
Peter blinked. "...You're obsessed."  
  
"And proud," Tracy smiled.  
  
"Can I still be enraged with you?" he asked.  
  
"Whatever floats your boat, I guess," Tracy shrugged. "But you still have to do the dishes."  
  
Peter groaned and got back to work, Tracy walking out the door.  
  
THE NEXT DAY....  
  
"It's 8:30 A.M!" the newly fixed alarm clock said. "Do you know where Peter is?"  
  
Peter groaned and threw the alarm clock out the window again. He dragged himself out of bed and resumed his position as Daj's personal slave. Since it was his last day, Dajotre was ready to give out orders like lottery tickets.  
  
Peter began his day with serving breakfast. Today on the menu was misshapen, burnt pancakes that Ashley made for Frodo.  
  
She skipped over to Frodo and gave him a plate of slightly black, slightly heart-shaped pancakes. "Here you go, love of my life! I made you breakfast!"  
  
"Thank you, Ashley," Frodo smiled at her consideration.  
  
He stood on his chair and kissed her on the forehead. She collapsed again and Brittney said, "Well, she'll wake up eventually. But until then, let's all eat whatever's left of breakfast."  
  
Peter served the food on a silver tray to "King Daj." "Here you are, master."  
  
"Thank you, slave," Daj nodded. "Please fetcheth me the remote control."  
  
Peter looked over at where it was: five inches away from Daj's grasp. He sighed heavily and handed him the control. "You're welcome."  
  
Tippy, meanwhile, was dropping grapes into Faramir's mouth.  
  
"This is the life!" Tippy grinned. "My sweet Faramir relaxing, and I, his humble servant."  
  
Peter glared over at Tip and then turned back to his "master."  
  
"What else do you ask of me, your majesty?" he bowed mockingly.  
  
"Stand there," Daj ordered. "I'll think of something."  
  
Then, a timer went off.  
  
"What was that?" Daj asked.  
  
"It has been exactly 72 hours of service, Peter," Tracy said. "You're free."  
  
"WHAT?!" Daj screamed.  
  
"YES!!!" Peter rejoiced, falling to his knees. "THANK YOU SWEET JESUS!!!"  
  
Dajotre glared as Peter ran up to his room to get rid of his tuxedo.  
  
"It wasn't 72 hours," Dajotre told Tracy.  
  
"I know," she said. "But he was so sad that it was pathetic. Besides, it's my story. I can do whatever I want."  
  
(Next Chapter: Where Are You Going?!) 


	13. Where Are You Going?

Chapter 13- Where Are You Going?!  
  
The next morning, Theresa awoke to shouting and loud Final Fantasy music. She ran downstairs to see Tip and Daj arguing again, and Kitt trying to conquer the next Final Fantasy boss. On top of that, Gimli and Legolas were starting to argue over nothing again, and Lisa and Arwen were fighting over Aragorn once more. Theresa sighed heavily and came down to get her breakfast. Ben and Bryan were fighting over the last bottle of the Dew in the kitchen, and Peter was pretending that he didn't hear anything.  
  
"Good morning, Theresa!" Tracy smiled.  
  
"Meh," Theresa responded.  
  
Suddenly, Ben slammed into Theresa, knocking the jug of milk out of her grasp. Silence filled the house as she slowly turned to the victim. Ben seemed to shrink under her glare.  
  
"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" she screamed. "I'M LEAVING EARLY!!!"  
  
"What?!" Tracy, Brittney and Lisa exclaimed.  
  
"No Theresa!" Lisa sobbed. "Don't leave me with these morons!"  
  
"I don't care!" Theresa yelled. "I'm leaving! I refuse to stay here any longer with these...these...idiots!"  
  
  
  
"Hey!" Bryan said.  
  
"Like I said," she answered. "Idiots!"  
  
Bryan glared.  
  
"You can't leave," Arwen said. "We'll miss you."  
  
"No you won't!" Theresa replied.  
  
"Yeah, you're right," Daj nodded.  
  
Tippy smacked him. "Stop being so mean!"  
  
Theresa stormed upstairs to grab her luggage, leaving her friends guilty and...confused, of course!  
  
At lunch, Theresa ate in silence. Everyone tried to talk to her, but she refused to speak to anyone.  
  
"Theresa! Please!" Bryan said. "If you go, then only Lisa can help me with my homework!"  
  
"We'll miss you, Theresa!" Brittney added.  
  
She just continued to eat her pizza.  
  
"Theresa!" Ashley sighed. "I'll miss you! We'll all miss you! Even GIMLI will miss you!!!"  
  
Meanwhile, Gimli was setting off fireworks in the back yard and starting conga lines with... himself. Don't ask how. It's a Dwarf thing.  
  
"Riiiight," Theresa mumbled.  
  
"Theresa!" the others whined.  
  
But Theresa's mind was made up. The others did there best to try to convince her to stay at a party for her. She just sat, surrounded by people, balloons and Mountain Dew. Dajotre in particular had been good friends with Theresa, and was particularly sad at the notion of her leaving.  
  
"You can't leave! I'll be HEARTBROKEN!" he pleaded.  
  
  
  
Finally, her resolve broke. "Okay, okay-- I'll sta-"  
  
Something unexpected happened then, however. As a very large and poorly aimed firework shattered the back door and landed right in Theresa's lap. It burst into flame, and Theresa shrieked as her clothes burst into multi-colored flames.  
  
  
  
Tip grabbed the phone and dialed 9-1-1, while Tracy grabbed the margarita out of Faramir's hands and tried to douse poor Theresa with it. Thirteen fire men ran in and used their hoses to douse the screaming Theresa, now in complete and total panic. They loaded her into an ambulance and sped off, leaving the occupants of the house blinking in confusion.  
  
  
  
Finally, they shrugged it off and resumed their activities.  
  
Two days later, a letter came to the house. It read:  
  
  
  
"Hey guys! I'm sorry I had to go- I'm supposed to stay in bed for three weeks, so I can't come back. I miss you guys so much! I can't believe I ever wanted to leave! I'm sorry!  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Theresa"  
  
Tracy finished reading the letter out loud.  
  
Daj stared at her for a moment, before asking, "Who's Theresa?"  
  
(Yeah...that's like the shortest chapter Tippy--I mean I have ever written.   
  
Tippy: Hahah. I only wrote... a fourth of it! ....err, half! But go me! Vote for me! 4-5-6, vote for Tip! (Take that, Daj.) And be kind to Faramir. He's the best. Anyways, Ijiw32u0954f!@!  
  
Tracy: ...sorry about that. Anyways.....................read. Next Chapter: Is This Good-Bye?) 


	14. Is This GoodBye?

Chapter 14- Is This Good-Bye?  
  
Favorite Votes:  
  
Ashley- 2  
  
Ben- 9 (Leader)  
  
Brittney- 2  
  
Bryan- 3  
  
Dajotre- 4  
  
Kitt- 2  
  
Lisa- 2 1/2  
  
Peter- 2 1/2  
  
Tippy- 6  
  
Tracy- 6 1/2 (Yes!)  
  
Time passed quickly. Soon, the kids had one day left with the Fellowship. The day before, a shadow hung in the air. No laughter that day. No jokes told. No Dew was drunk. (Gasp!) Nothing. Talking was quieter, as if all knew that they would be leaving each other forever.  
  
The guys all sat in the living room in silence. Then Ben spoke up.  
  
"You know, in my state of boredom and sudden creativeness...if that's a word, I wrote a poem," he declared.  
  
Peter whipped out bongos and played in time to Ben's lament:  
  
"It's called 'The House of Insanity'  
  
It all started with a letter  
  
One insane winter's day  
  
None of us did know  
  
What would come our way  
  
'From Tracy,' it read  
  
'Come right away  
  
To the House of Insanity  
  
This Saturday.'  
  
So off we went  
  
Down the old dusty road  
  
To a house of caffeine  
  
Of young and of old  
  
We were all strangers  
  
But friendships were made  
  
It took a long time  
  
But it finally came  
  
Problems did arise  
  
But we figured it out  
  
Though it took a few battles  
  
And screams and shouts  
  
So the end is near  
  
And our adventure is done  
  
I regret the finale  
  
The curtain is drawn."  
  
The others blankly stared at Ben....that was way to random but the mood called for it....maybe I should've gotten rid of it....Ben would NEVER come up with something like that!  
  
Later, everyone shared one last pizza dinner together in absolute silence. That is, until Pippin spoke.  
  
"So...tomorrow's our last day," he said sadly.  
  
The others slowly nodded.  
  
"I for one will miss all of you," Lisa added.  
  
The others agreed. Merry raised his glass.  
  
"To fellowship...forever," he stated.  
  
Everyone raised their glasses as well and took a drink of the Dew. The rest of the meal had no conversation.  
  
Before bed that night, the girls spoke amongst themselves.  
  
"We'll be leaving each other forever," Brittney said sadly.  
  
Ashley and Tracy were busy sobbing over the loss of their beloved Fellowship members.  
  
Then Brittney broke out into tears. "BUT WHAT ABOUT MY HUSBAND?!"  
  
"Arwen..." Lisa said. "I'm sorry."  
  
*Gasp!*  
  
Arwen looked over at her. "Really?"  
  
"Well, no," Lisa admitted. "But it seemed like the right thing to say."  
  
*Whew! That was close!*  
  
Arwen sighed, "Well I'M sorry. I know you love Aragorn too. But you know what? He has this friend that looks exactly like him. It's so odd! His name's, uhh....Viggo Mortensen!"  
  
"Viggo Mortensen, huh?" Lisa said. "I'll have to look him up..."  
  
"I don't wanna leave Frodo!" Ashley cried.  
  
"And I don't wanna leave Legolas and Pippin!" Tracy sobbed.  
  
"And I don't wanna leave any of you!" Kitt said through her tears.  
  
"Group hug!" Tippy declared.  
  
The girls hugged each other, still crying.  
  
"You guys are our best friends!" Eowyn sobbed.  
  
"Really?" Tippy said.  
  
"No," Eowyn said. "But as Lisa said, it just seemed like the right thing to say at the time."  
  
Kitt's Legolas clone walked by the open door, paused, shrugged and kept walking.  
  
At the same time, the guys were sharing their emotions about leaving...just not as emotional...  
  
"Well...this is bad..." Ben said. "We won't see each other again."  
  
"You'll see me!" Bryan reminded him.  
  
Ben looked over at Bryan. "Lord give me strength."  
  
"Well I will miss all of you," Gandalf told them.  
  
The others nodded.  
  
"You know, I'd appreciate that if it was true," Daj said.  
  
Gandalf shrugged. "Yes, I know."  
  
The next morning, the girls came downstairs, still crying. The guys gave them the what's-your-problem look and continued to pack up. The bus pulled up to the door 2 hours later, and the Fellowship stood at the doorway, bidding the kids good-bye.  
  
Tracy came over to Pippin. "You are the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my life."  
  
She knelt down and hugged Pippin as hard as she could without choking him...well, he kind of WAS choking. Pippin smiled sadly and she came to Legolas.  
  
"I love you," she said. "I know you don't love me, but that's okay."  
  
She hugged the Elf anyways and turned around to hide her crying. Tippy leapt into Faramir's arms.  
  
"Don't leave me with these lunatics!!!!!!!!" she sobbed.  
  
"Umm...I'm sorry," he said more like a question.  
  
Ashley kissed her Frodo good-bye, Kitt stood with her arm around Orlando, and Lisa actually got a hug from Aragorn! The guys shook each other's hands (no hugging with MY guy friends...they aren't the type...believe me!) and they started to leave.  
  
"Brittney!" Merry called. "You can't leave! What about the children?!"  
  
Brittney whirled around. "What children?!"  
  
"Oh yeah...that's right..." Merry mumbled. "Never mind."  
  
"Wait," Aragorn said.  
  
All the kids turned around expectantly. "Yesssssssss?!"  
  
"Do you..." he trailed off. "Do you really have to leave?"  
  
"Well, according to the sad "In Dreams" music in the background that's making me sob uncontrollably, yes," Tracy responded.  
  
"Can you stay?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"You want us to STAY?!" Lisa grinned.  
  
He looked at the others. They nodded.  
  
"Yes," Aragorn smiled.  
  
The kids cheered and ran over to Aragorn, Lisa nearly knocking him over.  
  
Just then, from a helicopter above, someone came down from a rope.  
  
"Stephanie?!" Tippy exclaimed.  
  
"ALL RIGHT?!" Stephanie yelled. "WHERE IS HE?!"  
  
Everyone pointed to a confused Boromir. Stephanie hugged him.  
  
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM?!" she demanded.  
  
"Nothing!" Brittney said. "We were just beginning the sequel!"  
  
"What?" Stephanie asked.  
  
(Next STORY: The Lords of the Caffeine: The Two Sodas.) 


End file.
